Thursday, June 19, 2014

Trying SO Very Hard

I'm really trying to behave. Last night, I think I did okay, because Dr Dave EVENTUALLY got here and then he wanted to get snacks and booze. I had one peanut butter cup (110) and a couple sips of whiskey, so my intake was higher. But still under 700, so okay. 

Today, I feel very hungry, but I'm fighting it. I've had a "calorie-free" energy drink (8), a salad (now I'm not sure about this cuz there was a lot of olive oil on it - 400), five crackers with avocado (205) and a punnet of cherries (100), so somewhere in the 700s is the verdict. Man, oh man though. I want to eat more. 

I just keep thinking about that willowy skinny girl I used to be and how I used to proudly look at my thigh gap and even my thighs and just think how they almost looked a little bit too small. Today, I had lunch with three boys who called me skinny. I said that I was a normal size and not skinny. They were like 'bro, you're skinny'. They CLEARLY don't know what skinny is. CLEARLY. 

Love & Peace
Xo Xo

1 comment:

Sam Lupin said...

i hate PB cups. they're so beautiful. what kind do you have? i can't imagine Reese's to be vegan.
olive oil is deceiving. 400 sounds generous. even if it was bathed in a tablespoon or two of it, it'll be something like 250ish added with a lot of lettuce and greens.
i eat salads that have more calories than most normal meals so i ditched them.
aw, honey.
i had the same thing happen to me last night. my friend called me before she picked me up and she's just like "so what am i supposed to expect? did you lose weight or gain it or whatever?" she is used to seeing weight fluctuations around me. then i walked into her car and she's just like: man, you're skinny! what did you lose last time you saw me? like 10 kilos? (ahahaha. like 4 actually.) it's amazing what difference a few kg can make.
le sigh.
i have never seen a thigh gap on me. i'm interested in how it'll look like teheheh

-Sam Lupin