Fat & Thoughtful In Belfast

Since my birthday on the 17th, I have been on one solid binge. I've not stopped eating since about two days before then. I'm pretty disgusting right now, but hey - this is what we do right - fat, starve stave, binge, starve, fat, thin. Fat, fat, fat! Anyway. Nevertheless, the reason why is because one of the things I gifted myself for the 29th anniversary of my birth on this miserable lump of carbon was a big ol' bag of weed. Which I've been working my way through. 

Anyway, this weekend I came to Belfast and have spent the weekend walking around the incredibly beautiful Irish countryside. It has of course been fucking freezing, windy and raining - but even with a hangover that could fell a woolly mammoth, it was stunning. I would completely recommend Ireland to anyone who wants to get away from the city and see some truly spectacular outdoor... 'stuff'. 

Also, another point of anxiety for me at the moment is that I got that job I was interviewing for and now I have to resign (again) from a job after only a few months (again). They did offer me a really good salary and benefits package... I mean - I've accepted, but the whole process of resigning is just not a pleasant thing. 

I've also had Colbey on the brain for some inexplicable reason. Like, I've written a text to him twice now, but have stopped myself (even though I was fucking wasted both times), because there is nothing left to say. I mean - I'm not upset about it. I guess, I just want to have a wild romp with him. He was the best romping buddy I've had in a while. 

The Portuguese... is still around, but I don't want to date him. There is nothing about him that I want in a partner, but as a friend, he's definitely a good fit. I think we are on the same page regarding not wanting a relationship with each other, which is definitely good. He's great though. But I also am enjoying the freedom of being able to do whatever I like - I mean, I have enough men around me to have the benefits of boyfriend-like companionship when I want it. 

(Secretly I wonder if I am getting fat because I am single - no one will notice and I am alone at home a lot so I can eat as much as I want. Gross.)

Anyway, so that's it from me. I will not be so shit about posting as I have been in the last two weeks (I also bought a scale finally, but have been too scared to use it). 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo

Tattooooooooo

So I have one outstanding invoice for a few thousand pounds and I got an email today saying that it will be paid tomorrow, so it might take a few days to process, but that it is on. NOW, this means that I can go get my half-sleeve tattoo. I'm. So. Fucken. Excited. So I immediately booked an appointment at Evil From The Needle where I got my leg tattoo and my skull done. So Sunday, I'll go for the consult and then will see when he can book me in. 

It also means I get to get a nice handbag - I've been wanting to get a Michael Kors one for a while, but they're like £250. ANYWAY, so that's EXCITING!! I'm more excited about my tattoo to be fair.

I have been on point with the diet since Sunday, included. I had about 640 yesterday and I've had 840 today. So slightly more than I wanted, but I'm still hoping that the rest of the week that I can keep it down a bit lower, but I have drinks tomorrow and Thursday, so it is unlikely. I need to just keep on track. 

Still no scale, but fuck it. This weekend is D-Day for the scale. 

The scale, the scale. 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo 

The Plan

The plan this week is to do one 600 day, one 800, 600, 800. I am worried that my body will get used to the 800 plan. So today I've had 780 cals, tomorrow I'm gonna do 600. I'm gonna have to take my intake of milk down quite a bit and have a 150 cal soup for lunch. I should be able to get that right. I haven't done a 600-mazing day in a while.

That's the plan. 

It's also I have to say right now. Oh, I tried on the skirt - it's definitely zipping up easier, but there is still excess fat spilling over the top AND it's too tight to wear just yet. 11 days until my birthday when I want to wear it to work. I CAN DO THIS! 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo

The Portuguese

So this entire week has gone pretty well food wise, I have not gone over 800 calories since last Friday... well that is until last night. I had about 600 cals of food and then a landslide of sugary cocktails. So yesterday, as Friday's always tend to be - cheat day. Binge day. Fat day. Whatever, it wasn't like I lost control and had an enormous binge. ANYWAY. Unsurprisingly, I still have not bought a scale. I might go buy one tomorrow. I'm going to try on the skirt that I'm trying to fit into for my birthday tomorrow morning and hopefully there will be progress. Twelve days to go. 

Today, I've had a sub and a bag of crisps, and tea. I think that's about 780 cals for the day. I'm going to make sure that I don't have anything else for the day. 

ANYWAY, so last night I went to have drinks with a bunch of my friends and then on the way home, I randomly texted that Portuguese guy who blew me off earlier in the week and ended up jumping in an Uber and going to his house. We had a joint and I drank half a beer, and then we went in the bedroom and made out... JUST made out. He's really, REALLY lovely, BUT he is short and he is skinny. He isn't that short, but he's shorter than me. 

I don't really know if there is any potential there for anything, but I don't think he is what I want as far as a someone to properly date... Like physically, he's just not what I want I think. Unless the boning is AMAZING, but let's be honest, it probably not gonna happen. He said that I'm hot and we've been texting all day since then. 

Yeah, drunk Piggy. 

Such a fool, she is. 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo

Piggy Don't Gots No Date

He cancelled. Yep, at 2.33pm today, he cancelled. He said that he had an interview after he finished work and that they called him just before. That he was sorry. But that because I flaked on our date last week, now we were even. Now, for those of you who do NOT live in any proximity to non-native English speakers and continental Europeans in particular - it isn't as arsey as it sounds. Nor do they mean to convey their own offense when saying that. They just say stupid shit like that. Nonetheless, he CLEARLY doesn't realise that when it comes to me, there is a miserably hopeless double standard that exists and that he doesn't just cancel on me. Yes, I know this is childish, but now I might make him wait another few weeks to meet me. Whatever, bro. 

I still have not bought a scale. Tomorrow, maybe? 

I have had just over 800 calories today, which was actually quite easy today because I purposefully had a super low-cal lunch because I thought I was going out with the Portuguese guy. I had all of my regular coffees and teas (about 250 cals worth of milk, no jokes), chicken soup from Pret for lunch (126), beef soup for dinner (179), two pudding cups (2x85cals) and strawberries (I know it's less than this, but 120). So yeah, it wasn't too bad. 

I started off having a skinny day and it ended up being a disgusting poochy fat day. I'm now going to make myself write my book for an hours. 

Update on that by the way - I've just got to write the ending and then edit. I've started editing and I've figured out the plot holes. The goal is to finish the book. FINISH THE FUCKING BOOK PIGGY! 

I might buy a scale tomorrow... 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo