It's Okay

Ladies, d'awww. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are all so concerned about me, perhaps my last post was a bit... vague. What I was actually referring to is this overwhelming feeling that I got yesterday morning that something awful was going to happen. The only other times I got that feeling were when I tried to kill myself. That feeling that you are one lazy footprint away from throwing yourself in front of a bus... or downing a bottle of pills. And as a matter of fact, I was quite close to this yesterday. Thank god for two things though. The first is obviously everyone on this blog. Not only did I get a bunch of comments on the post, but I also got a bunch of emails. Asking if I was okay, etc. And also, thank god for my sister. Her and I don't speak that often because we are both getting on with our own lives, which are obviously very different, but yesterday for some reason, she was very bored at work and we chatted the whole day. I sort of took the combination of these two things as a sign from the universe that I needed to man the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for myself. So thank you. Thank you to everyone. Sometimes you feel yourself falling towards the bottom of a very dark and lonely pit. In times like that it is nice to know that there are a few people at the bottom of that hole willing to let you bounce off of them. So thanks. Everyone. It means the world to me. And now I'm going to get drunk. So be expecting loads of self-deprecating posting later :). Cuz that's how we roll. I promise, I won't hurt myself again. :)

Love & MORE LOVE
Xo Xo