Sometimes, You Gotta Cry

Well, the 'thing' if you can even call it that, with Lukasz has fallen spectacularly to shit. Through the week when we were messaging each other, I had asked him if he could fetch me on the way to the party in Clapham on Friday night. His response was that he had a late meeting and so he couldn't say and that I shouldn't rely on him. I said to him that I only wanted to go at around 8 anyway, so no big deal. But he kept banging on about this 'late meeting', so I kinda left it at about 3pm on Friday saying - you could've just said no, but nevermind I'll see you later. Still hopeful at that point that I was going to get a little action on Friday night. Then as I am getting ready to leave the house to go to the party, Monika sent me a pic of her and Lukasz in full make up on the bus going to the party together. As in - he had fobbed me off and LIED TO ME about this late meeting for the dumbest reason in the world - i.e. that he was going to get ready with Monika - why the lie? Then Monika told him I called him a liar, etc etc. So for Friday, I completely ignored him and have continued to do until this afternoon where I kinda went columbine on his ass on whatsapp, blocked him all over everything - moving right along then. ANYWAY, he obviously knew what he had done and that I knew about it because he hasn't even tried to talk to me. So guess what ladies? I got played. Go. Me. I deserve it for what I did to David. I totally deserve it. 

All this drama has of course been epic motivation for restricting. Friday I had about 600 cals but then like a MILLION in jager and vodka. Yesterday similarly, I must've had about 1500 - consisting of a goats cheese ciabatta, small coffee, insalata tricolore, melazane alla parmigiana, limonchello and a small slice of bread. Millions of calories. Today thus far I have had about 400 calories consisting of a salad and two cups of skinny hot chocolate, a cup of tea... and that's it. I've got a mushroom and stilton nut roast for dinner, SO I should end somewhere around 700/800 depending on how much more hot chocolate I have... it is what helps me starve. 

I've also got laryngitis. AWESOME. 

FUCK THIS WEEKEND IN THE ASS! FUCK. IT!

Peace & Love

Xo Xo