Smashing Goals & Being Fearless

I finally fucking cracked 62! This morning - despite having still had about 1400 calories yesterday - I weighed in at 62.9kg. So I made it but just barely. 

Coming to you from Heathrow Terminal 2, I am about to pop a Valium as I board this flight to Istanbul. My dearest blogger-world friends, please say a little prayer for me to your respective gods - I am terrified of this flight, of the stop over in Istanbul and of this trip generally. I will cut a bitch if they try to harass me, but I'm pretty confident that I can make some friends and stay safe. 

You might ask yourself, why is Piggy flying to a remote part of an Arab country by herself? The answer is because I'm a fucking idiot. For those westerners reading this - I do not have a problem with Arab countries, but my point in mentioning this is that my experience has been getting mercilessly harassed and what I would call sexually assaulted - felt up in the most crude way possible with zero fucks given on the part of these men. In this situation, as a woman by yourself in a strange country that doesn't speak English, all you can do is hope that you'll get out of the situation as soon as possible and you have to just move on. I am a tall, very pale blonde female by myself. An easy target. BUT this time, I've dressed like a bit of a hobo and have a headscarf to cover my hair. So I'm hoping that this will help not draw attention to myself, I've booked a cab on the other side and am going straight to the hotel... Which as it turns out is a resort with loads of diving - SO if it is properly dodgy (not dangerous dodgy, cuz I'm African. I got this) as far as harassy men then I won't have to leave. I arrive at 3.15am local time. *facepalm* 

You might now ask why I'd go knowing that I might run into trouble - BECAUSE FUCK THE PATRIARCHY! I won't let other people ruin my adventures. I refuse to be scared and so I will do the best I can and try to be fearless. *idiot* 

Anyway, so I've probably already had my days allowance of calories consisting of almond butter, coffee, fruit, smoothies and yoghurt. So it's all clean whole food, but still. The plan is to not drink on the flight since I need to have my wits about me and to eat only the part of the food that doesn't have carbs in it. I've worked hard to be ready for a bikini on the trip, so I need to not fuck it up now. 

I can do this. 

Say a prayer for me beautiful friends, I'm now boarding my flight. 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

The Patriarchy Strikes Back

I have not been as good this week as I could have been. I'm still hovering in the 63's. This morning was 63.2 - SO FUCKING CLOSE! I know why though, I've been having about 1200/1300 calories a day, which obviously means "sustainable loss" - slower (albeit allegedly healthier loss). 

I am however taking a silver lining from this: I am learning to maintain. I've been on this weight now for about a month, so even if I'm only losing very slowly, I'm not binging AND I'm not gaining. 

I'm so fucking stoked that I go on holiday tomorrow, I need a break. I'm going to use the time to work on myself and try to shift this last bit of weight. I am not coming home fat. My plan is to eat breakfast (cuz it's included in my hotel) and then skip lunch and have a small dinner (cuz I do want to try some local cuisine). 

If you hear of a plane that went down on its way to Egypt around 3am on Sunday morning, say a little non-secular prayer for me. I have Valium because I am absolutely petrified of flying - not least of which the route I'm going. *it'll be fine Piggy, it'll be fine* 

I hope I can catch a tan while I'm there and hopefully meet some nice new people. This week has been fairly uneventful, the Italian has been just lovely. Super affectionate (via text only, because I told him I was busy this week which is only half true) and not overbearing. I think I agree with you guys, not all of these things are forever, so I'm just gonna have fun, because he's a nice boy. And he's so fucking hot. 

Also, WHY DID I EVER STOP LISTENING TO THE KILLERS!? Sam's Town is honestly one of the best albums ever made. 

I've decided to cut off one of my friends. She is vapid and idiotic, and is incapable of talking about anything other than her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend... Or makeup, or something of equal shallowness. I have always prided myself on being a strong woman, who doesn't flap around men and who doesn't need to have men in my life. I try to always learn new things and have new experiences. Men are, of course, one piece of the puzzle - but agonising over him sending you a text and "what does it meaaaaaan", get a life. I tried to discuss what to call a character in my new book and she could talk about that for about five minutes before it devolved into more useless chat about her boyfriend. She can be oppressed by the patriarchy, I refuse to be. And her oppression is oppressing me. Fuck. The. Patriarchy. You know what I mean? She has no interests beyond drinking and her boyfriend. She never travels or tries new things. She can't do anything beyond go to the pub and flap about other people. ITS PATHETIC. I can't anymore. Fuck the patriarchy. To her credit, she is totally ride or die. She's the kind of person that would help you hide a dead body with no further questioning than "where's the shovel?" Despite this however, I can't spend so much of my life being wrapped up by her crap. I think she's only that available to other people because that's all she has to contribute. 

Fuck the patriarchy. 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

Piggy's Fools Errand

Plans, plans, plans...

That's all I can think about at the moment is life plans. I have an idea for an online business that I want to try and start doing. I won't go into specifics about what it is, but it will hopefully allow me to do two things that I really want to do: 

1. Save cats (well animals, generally. But starting with cats!)

2. #VanLife around Europe or wherever for a few summers. It won't be next year, but maybe the year after, etc. 

Which brings me to my second plan - I've said that once I get my British citizenship, I'm going to live in Singapore for two years - I looked into it and legitimately, I could do that. Even if my business idea falls completely flat, I'd be able to do my current job elsewhere, such as Singapore at a high enough level that I could get a work visa. Which is brilliant. 

Which brings me to my third plan - holidays for the rest of the year. I'm planning a holiday doing camel trekking in Morocco for a week in October and a week in Italy doing Rome, Venice and Naples. *all the pizza* 

And lastly, my fourth point is that I got an email yesterday from a tattoo studio that I've been trying to get an appointment with for years and the artist wants to book in my tattoo - which is going to be my whole leg (think a leg sleeve) starting with marine vibes on the bottom (turtles, coral, nemo's and dory's) moving into skulls and crows at the top. Her name is Lianne Moule - you should check her out, she's fucking nuts. In a good awesome way. So I need to book an appointment with her today and then will go for a consult. 

All of this does mean I will be very poor for the next few months (YEARS!), but YOLO. 

In pursuit of my business idea, I'm going to go on a Wordpress/website building course next month after holiday and work travels. 

This morning, I weighed in at 63.9kg (yaaaaaassssss, Piggy! Yaaaassssss!) - which means there is a possibility that by the time I fly out on Saturday, I'll finally be in the 62's! *yaaaaaaasssssss* 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

Goddamn Hunter's Chicken

That I will on time for work today is a fucking miracle. Like - a miracle. Last night, my little sister came round to mine for dinner and we talked - just the two of us and honestly, we have never ever done that. It was nice... Or at least I thought it was. It's weird that after all of these years, I'm starting to feel like I have a family again. Well... Not my dad anyway, but whatever. We talked about growing up and some of the stuff that she's interested in - which funny enough is the same kind of stuff I am interested in. We are very similar I think.  

Anyway, yesterday was not a good eating day as I forgot that I had a team lunch - it wasn't a blow-it-out-of-the-water lunch, but it wasn't what it needed to be. I had a hunters chicken - which is a chicken breast topped with BBQ sauce, bacon and cheese, and chips. Luckily, because it was a posh pub that we went to, the portions aren't big. And then for dinner with my sister, I made pesto pasta - brown pasta, pesto, veggies and rocket. Which because I made so much of, I will be eating for the rest of the week. I'm alright with it because I can have a cup full with each meal and it'll only be about 350 cals - SO I just need to be strict that I don't eat too much else other than those two meals. I can do that. 

This morning I weighed and shockingly it was only 64.3kg - if I am good till Saturday and eat nothing other than what I'm supposed to, I'm hoping to get to low 63's. I might need to just up my walking a bit. I can do that too. 

(Just a sidenote as I write this, I am standing at the tube and inexplicably this guy next to me keeps bending over and rubbing his ass against my leg - WHAT THE SHIT, yo!?) 

4 sleeps till Egypt! 😍 (read: 4 sleeps to lose 1.3kg!) 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

Sometimes, You're Hermoine Granger

Well you know when a person doesn't post, it means shits going wrong... Or going down. My shit has been going a little wrong - as in bad eating, but have more or less managed to rein it in... Kinda. Yesterday morning I was 63.5kg which was obviously wonderful, but then yesterday I must've had about 3000 cals worth of Mexican food, beer and snacks. It's kinda okay because I spent like all day walking around. So I didn't weigh this morning, but will do tomorrow. 

I'm off to Egypt on Saturday, so I need to sort my shit out. 

Yesterday, I was with the Italian - who is lovely. I mean, he's not smart. He's not stupid either to be fair, but I definitely feel like Hermoine Granger around him. He's just so damn hot. I had originally planned to ghost him, because I was just not feeling it. And in the beginning, it was definitely awkward. I like the way he holds me around my waist and moves me around. He also calls me skinny... And let's be honest ED girls, if someone calls you skinny... Anyway, he might be a lovely season guy - the kind you keep around to snuggle with in winter. 

On Saturday, I went swimming at my pond and my god, I just love it so much. The swimming obviously, but I am now building a weird fascination with the other women that go there. Not in a creepy way, but my body actually looks pretty damn good by comparison. I've definitely got less jiggle than most of them and even though I hate my fat stomach, most of them have a fat stomach. Even my boobs are pretty awesome. It's almost a confidence boost going there - not to say there is anything wrong with those ladies at all, because there isn't and they are all weirdly beautiful in their own uniqueness, but the things that I am so afraid of as far as how I see my own body... Like seeing how "normal" these normal women are makes me just think that I'm actually doing alright and that I don't need to worry about it quite as much as I do. 

Obviously I'm not going to stop trying to be thinner, but maybe I don't need to be AS thin as I thought I needed to be. Also, it made me realise my little sister and I have like exactly the same body shape. Weirdly. Except she's got better legs. 

Anyone been watching the Olympics? Cuz I'm fucking obsessed. It's honestly the best and greatest. I am obsessed with the gymnastics, as I have always been. 

Reference to an earlier point, another reason I didn't blog last week was because I spent my tube time - I.e. When I normally write these things - reading Harry Potter. If you have not read the Cursed Child and you're a Potter fan (SAMMY, I AM TALKING TO YOU!) - read it. I mean, it's super short and I tried to drag it out for as long as possible, but it's SO good. 

Peace & Love from London 

Xo Xo