Well you know when a person doesn't post, it means shits going wrong... Or going down. My shit has been going a little wrong - as in bad eating, but have more or less managed to rein it in... Kinda. Yesterday morning I was 63.5kg which was obviously wonderful, but then yesterday I must've had about 3000 cals worth of Mexican food, beer and snacks. It's kinda okay because I spent like all day walking around. So I didn't weigh this morning, but will do tomorrow.
I'm off to Egypt on Saturday, so I need to sort my shit out.
Yesterday, I was with the Italian - who is lovely. I mean, he's not smart. He's not stupid either to be fair, but I definitely feel like Hermoine Granger around him. He's just so damn hot. I had originally planned to ghost him, because I was just not feeling it. And in the beginning, it was definitely awkward. I like the way he holds me around my waist and moves me around. He also calls me skinny... And let's be honest ED girls, if someone calls you skinny... Anyway, he might be a lovely season guy - the kind you keep around to snuggle with in winter.
On Saturday, I went swimming at my pond and my god, I just love it so much. The swimming obviously, but I am now building a weird fascination with the other women that go there. Not in a creepy way, but my body actually looks pretty damn good by comparison. I've definitely got less jiggle than most of them and even though I hate my fat stomach, most of them have a fat stomach. Even my boobs are pretty awesome. It's almost a confidence boost going there - not to say there is anything wrong with those ladies at all, because there isn't and they are all weirdly beautiful in their own uniqueness, but the things that I am so afraid of as far as how I see my own body... Like seeing how "normal" these normal women are makes me just think that I'm actually doing alright and that I don't need to worry about it quite as much as I do.
Obviously I'm not going to stop trying to be thinner, but maybe I don't need to be AS thin as I thought I needed to be. Also, it made me realise my little sister and I have like exactly the same body shape. Weirdly. Except she's got better legs.
Anyone been watching the Olympics? Cuz I'm fucking obsessed. It's honestly the best and greatest. I am obsessed with the gymnastics, as I have always been.
Reference to an earlier point, another reason I didn't blog last week was because I spent my tube time - I.e. When I normally write these things - reading Harry Potter. If you have not read the Cursed Child and you're a Potter fan (SAMMY, I AM TALKING TO YOU!) - read it. I mean, it's super short and I tried to drag it out for as long as possible, but it's SO good.
Peace & Love from London
Xo Xo
2 comments:
I'm SO obsessed with the gymnastics, I've been a gymnast my entire life and follow gymnastics all the time (even non OLympic years) but the Olympics make it so much more exciting!
Good luck with your guy! Not every relationship has to have long-term potential, go out and have fun!
okay, with that title? you've got my attention.
i'm *always* Hermione Granger. this is my problem.
"And let's be honest ED girls, if someone calls you skinny..." i knowwwwww.
NO! i got what you mean with the women there. i've done this a thousand times. i think us ED people do have a tendency to do this and being in recovery, i do this a lot. it does help me boost my body image a little bit. my thighs/butt always look huge compared to everyone else but aye, what can i do?
I HAVEN'T READ IT YET BUT THAT'S BECAUSE NOBODY'S GOTTEN IT FOR ME YET
i will i will i will though i totally will
-Sam Lupin
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