Some Thoughts on Recovery

I read an interesting entry on another 'weightloss' blog by a very brave girl from Long Island who after getting pregnant and having certain realisations about life is now committing to stop starving, binging and cutting. I think this is fantastic. I still am deeply committed to my weight loss and still have a long way to go, but I have been thinking that maybe I should try to be smarter about this.

The time I have in mind to get to my goal weight is the 7th of October. I have 38 days to get to my goal weight. 38 days for 15lbs. That's 1lb every two days. I can totally do this. I have decided that I will not fast anymore. Instead, for the next week I am going to only eat liquid food (soup essentially) and three apples a day. I am going to try keep my intake between 500 and 700 calories per day.

The event is a music festival and always at these things, it is insanely hot bikini weather and I will be damned if I don't get to wear one this year. I don't think my bf will understand the eating thing, but if he sees me eating soup at least then he should be alright with it. I mean at the end of the day - it is my body and I

will damn well do what I want with it. I managed to get in a decent amount of exercise this weekend. Two hours of hiking on Saturday and an hour and a half yesterday. So today I am going to focus on working out my arms and maybe go for a run a bit later, although I am still feeling sniffly. Next week I have an internship at a rather large company who I am hoping will hire me next year, so need to look beautiful for that either. No one is going to hire a fat slob.

AND my rant for today is the mother fucking guy that I bought my scale from hasn't shipped it yet and it looks like it is going to be at least another week before it arrives. I am starting to get quite anxious. I haven't weighed myself in way over two months and I know that my stomach is looking fat and horrible. I bet I have gained at least 5lbs. I sent him an email and everything so that he can hurry the fuck up, but he hasn't responded. I think I shall send him another one.

I miss being single. So much. The thrill of the chase and meeting new people and just generally going a little bit crazy. Going out, getting drunk, meeting new people, ending up at strange places at strange times of day and night. I miss it so much. But I do love boyfriend, I guess it's just sacrifices that you make. Like fatty lovely tasting food - but my body is stronger.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS! NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS! NOTHINGS TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS!