Where In The World Is Fat Piggy?

Hello everyone, god is does seem like is has been an age since I last posted (I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS, I SWEAR!!). Basically, shit has been going down in a big way since I last blogged and I was kinda /am kinda in a weird place at the moment, so it's been hard to blog and fight that overwhelming feeling which causes me to want to crawl up in a lonely ball in the corner of a dark room. That same ball that I was in over three years ago which led me to end up with a belly full of paracetamol in a ward full of crazy people... BUT NO! Don't worry, things are not that bad. They will never be that bad again, because all things considered - I will never be like that again. Anyway, I'll stop rambling on and tell you what's been up - this will be a long one. Warnings in advance. 

I suppose the logical place to start is that I turned 28 - yes, my dears. Twenty-fucking-eight. It didn't seem that scary at the time, but the more I've had to repeat it to myself over the past month, the more scary that number has sounded. This prompted what can only be classified as a quarter life crisis which I believe began at the beginning of the year. 

I've been fucking miserable at work - I've said this like a hundred times over the past few months on this blog. So what's a fucking Piggy to do? ANSWER: The most fucking irrational thing possible. Resign from my job, get another with a direct competitor, get sentenced to gardening leave (for those not in the corporate world, gardening leave is where you don't have to work out your notice period and are paid to sit on your arse for two months!) - AWESOME RIGHT? Bored. More like it - and last piece of the puzzle is to enroll in a completely unrelated industry's hardest professional exam to be taken at the end of the year. Tsk. Tsk. Piggy - so impulsive, have you learnt nothing? 

Yep, this is what I've done. I enrolled to take the CFA level 1 at the end of this year - December to be exact and it is an investment banking/derivatives and alternative investment qualification which will essentially end with me being a dreaded and notorious London Banker Wanker. It was impulsive, but my never ending arrogance has essentially ended up with me thinking I have the stones to do this without a problem. So I'm doing it - no. fucking. problem. 

I am currently on garderning leave as of two days ago - I start my new role with a solar specific media company who are direct competitors of my current/old company and they basically frog-marched me out of the office the minute I resigned. WHICH was before I left for a two-week holiday in Thailand. So that's another thing. I just got back from Thailand and now I have another two weeks off. YAY ME, right? ...right? I mean, boredom for two weeks is manageable I think - don't go to the dark side PIGGY!? STOP!! Thailand was absolutely magical. I'll write a separate post on Thailand later tonight for those that have never been - but if you haven't, I would strongly recommend it - any Thai-based people read this blog? If you do, leave us a comment. It was something that you have to experience once in a lifetime. Although, I will say that growing up in Cape Town spoilt it a bit for me - all the beaches and beautiful scenery were only as good as what I grew up with, it wasn't better necessary. Except the crystal blue water, that was fucking. amazing. 

Before I went to Thailand, I was in Boston for a week - another fucking AMAZING city. I absolutely adore Boston. I would live there in a heartbeat... who knows, maybe one day I will :). And then two days after I got back from Boston, I was in Amsterdam. But I've been there like three times now so nothing to write home about. I'd like to go there on a trip with my David and my sister and her hubby (none of them have been) in the summer. It will happen :). ANYWAY, so that kinda brings things up to date for now. 

FUCK NO! It doesn't. There has been some rough stuff in the past few months. The first is that my beautiful kitten Gremlin dislocated his jaw. As you can well imagine, for those who know me - I had a total fucking meltdown. Like ugly crying over my poor kitten - luckily,he didn't have to have surgery and they just popped it back in. That was 8 days ago when I was in Thailand and he 100% a-okay now, thank fucking fuck. The other piece of bad news is that one of my closest friends in London is moving back to South Africa in May. She is in AA and it's been awfully rough for her. She's never settled on London as her home even though she has been here a bit longer than I have (it was my 3 year anniversary of London last week). I'm going to miss her. 

And lastly, just when you thought Cape Town was the most evil poisonous place in the world for me, David has also gone there for two months to do a pediatric placement in the Red Cross Children's Hospital. My smart boyf is now officially a doctor - he got a first in his finals and got the results a few weeks ago. *snaps for David*. (Done well for myself innit!?) I miss him already - he took care of Gremlin when I was in Thailand and I think that all this time has really made be grow to love in a way that is almost as strong as Roy. Although, him being in Cape Town now I am kinda tweaking out that he is going to do the same thing to me that Roy did - i.e. leave me to shack up with the neighbour. I don't deserve him.

So the final thing on this incredibly long blog post is my weight. I weighed myself this morning and it is 73.0kg. How-oh-how have I slid so far back. Unacceptable. The buck stops here. I started Kayla again this week which I'm leaving for the gym to do in a couple of hours. Calorie-wise, I'm aiming for under 1000. I don't want to go back to starving like I used to, but I need to manage my weight. Starving is all I know. But I won't go back. Binging is actually what I know best and I'm not past that yet. 

ANYWAY, I'll keep you all posted on the weight and now you're all pretty much up to speed on my life so that's taken care of. Sorry I've been gone so long. 

Love & Peace

Xo Xo