Halloween

So this weekend... I stayed in on Friday night and didn't eat. Much - I mean about 900 altogether. On Saturday, I was nervous as hell - it was going to be my first public outing with Colbey and I was absolutely terrified. I was running really late and eventually got to my friends house - they got to the pub before we did and then we showed up about twenty minutes after kickoff. The All Blacks won! Thank fuck, because Colbey and I had a bet that if either of our teams won the World Cup, the other would get the emblem tattooed on the ass. Thank fuck. 

So when we got there, Colbey was fucking. wasted. I mean - Fifteen beers and a fifth of vodka kinda wasted. He was screaming horrible things at the game (unsportsmanly things ergo horrible) which made me really shifty and his friend Nath was there, who I was trying to hook up with Monika - thankfully, my friends saved the day by also coming along so it wasn't an awful couple situation. Colbey and I barely looked at each other the entire game - I was MORTIFIED!! Even thinking about it - I AM mortified. 

He was super cute though, kept trying to grab me and kiss me... which was sweet in a way and then we went back to Monika's flat and he passed the fuck out. It was cute, but really messy. After a couple of hours, we dressed up and went out. He didn't make it into the club, so I was on drunk duty. And from there... I had the best possible night. He is HEAPS of fun. We partied all night and then at about 1am we left the bar and started having a London mission. 

We went and got dirty burgers (a MILLION CALORIES!) and then walked along the river, we sat on this wall for ages making out... It was absolutely beautiful. He totally told me he loved me (which was a drunk confession so 100% not true) and it was the sweetest thing. And then we had the best sex... OMG that I have had in ages. He is just so... Yeah. Amazing. 

Anyway, then yesterday, we spent the whole day just hanging out. He was super cuddly and cute. He's so ticklish and he sleeps like a teddy. We went and had lunch with his friend and he's super affectionate (even in front of the friend) - like, holding my hand and stuff... It was. Just so great. We did talk about our ex's a bit. Then stupidly I went and stalked all the ex's on fb. The first two are throwaways. And like - no threat there. 

The most recent one, which is like a year and a bit ago - she is smoking hot, really pretty and she looks like a ton of fun. The pics - like they were doing tons of stuff together, travelling - she met his parents. Like - I FUCKING HATE HER. I WANT TO KILL HER. FUCKING WHORE PERFECT BITCH HO!  So, yeah. That was a mistake. The good news is that it is really motivating me to get thin again and to be more active and fun already. More than just drinking. 

Anyway, so that was my weekend. He left his phone in the uber and it was dropped off here at 4.45am this morning, I now have his phone less than a few feet away and the temptation is too much. But I don't know the passcode. ANYWAY, forget about it - I'm not going to act like a psycho with this one. This is it - I am not fucking this up. Today I've had about 200 cals, including a herbalife shake (150 - I figured if I make it with almond milk, it's less calories) and coffee. 

I will weigh tomorrow, but I ate like shit on Sunday. A lot of shit. So I'm not expecting anything. I am going to a write-in in an hour which is a get together of writers who sit and write for 2 hours. It's part of NaNoWriMo - which is National November Writers Month or something like that with the goal of writing an entire book (or 50000) in one month. Now, I've already got 63000 words, so I've only got 27000 to reach my goal. So this month will be about finishing my book. And getting it ready for editing. 

YES! 

Love & Writing

Xo Xo