Obsessive

I think I am really obsessive at the moment... I'm not sure why. 

Obsession 1: Colbey. I forgot to mention in my last post that when I was charging his phone after it was dropped off here at my house at 4.45am after he left it in an uber, the phone turned on and a bunch of messages came through - which obviously I did not read (I'm not like that). But one of the messages that came through - if you know iPhone's, you can see a summary of all the messages without unlocking the phone - was from 'Diana' on Tinder. Now, I didn't read it (because there is a passcode and thank god for that, because I'm not sure I would've been able to restrain myself otherwise) - I also didn't say anything to him about that. Like I've decided to not go all Roy on this poor guy, so if he says he's not banging other people, then I choose to believe him. 

Obsession 1 leads to number obsession 2...

Obsession 2: Weightloss - even today I managed to not binge. I ended on 850 calories (on a hangover, I'm reasonably impressed with myself) - which consisted of a weightwatchers shake, a spinach smoothie, tuna with pickles and wholewheat egg-fried rice. So yeah, there was a point this afternoon where I was about to pack it in, but then (obsession 1 kicked in) I used my new go-to trick - stalking Colbey's ex on facebook - the STICK INSECT BITCH WITH NO SOUL! 

Which leads to obsession number 3....

Obession 3: Colbey's Ex. It was the most insignificant of his relationships, she is the only one he doesn't speak to anymore, but for some reason this woman haunts me. FUCKING STICK INSECT WITH NO SOUL! I think she annoys me for the following reasons: She is fucking skinny, fit skinny even; They traveled together a lot and it annoys me when people have traveled more than I have; She came from a very demure Oxford family and I'm... a hot mess?; She met his parents - AND YES, I KNOW I'VE ONLY JUST STARTED DATING HIM AND I HATE FAMILIES, but it's the principal (If it was a choice between logic and principal, I would choose principal every time!); She's pretty and little.

Obsession 4: My career or lack thereof. So I finally think that I've broken through what I think I want to be doing with my life. So there is my book - which is *watch this space*, but then there are also other things - for example, before I turn 30 (a year and a half about-ish) I want to do stand-up comedy. It scares the bejesus out of me so I've given myself some time to work up to it. Then, I've also decided that I want to try and write a pilot for a tv sitcom. Now, this is left-field I understand, but I have a friend who works at ITV (aka the home of Downton Abbey) and they have a commissioning scheme. I also have a really good idea and I may try and get it in front of an agent. I have a very strong idea and I'm 100% gonna write this shit and get it out there. I'm meant to be a creative and a writer, I'm meant to share my ideas and I can't believe that it has taken me 28 years to figure this out. How did I ever think I was going to be a lawyer?

Anyway, so basically the obsession of the moment is Colbey and I'm really sorry that I keep droning on about him - there is more to come... I apologise in advance. I'm seeing him tomorrow and I can't fucking wait. 

I've been so inspired lately that I've started painting again... I haven't painted since I left England the first time, so 2011. Roy really killed my love of painting... He told me once that he wouldn't have dated me if I didn't paint. Asshole. 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo