The Hardest Thing

Loss is a part of everyone's life and despite the fact that I've lost a lot, it never gets any easier. Yesterday was honestly the hardest day of my life. Have I mentioned that my mothers prick of a husband left her for another woman? Well, because of that my mom couldn't keep her cat as she was moving in with family friends. So, the original idea was that he'd come stay with me - clearly I was smoking drugs when I thought that it would be a good idea, because he was not having it with my cats, so my dear kitties had to be banished outside so other kitty wouldn't kill them (he's twice the size and viciously kills things - bunnies, shrews, birds, mice - so he had to be locked in the bathroom at night. It was a nightmare. Anyway, I found him a crazy old cat lady to go live with - she looked like a less put together Vivienne Westwood and might have a minor hoarding problem. But she did say I could visit. 

Leaving him with a relative stranger in a new house was honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The hardest thing. 

I ended things with Tyler - a nice idea, wasn't it? I don't want to be married, and certainly not married to him. As nice as he is, it will never work. I'll just have to travel the world with my cats. 

My weight is 64.8kg. Only another 2.8kg to go. And I'm not binging and starving. So that's positive. But the scale is going down, so that's even more positive. 

I'm still very sad and weepy about our kitty, but I'm going to visit him this weekend. I'm sure he's fine. She's had two cats before and when I went there, I just thought - you know, this will be me in thirty years, all she wanted was a cat companion and our kitty would be that for her. Even the crazy ones need love. 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo