Goddamn Hunter's Chicken

That I will on time for work today is a fucking miracle. Like - a miracle. Last night, my little sister came round to mine for dinner and we talked - just the two of us and honestly, we have never ever done that. It was nice... Or at least I thought it was. It's weird that after all of these years, I'm starting to feel like I have a family again. Well... Not my dad anyway, but whatever. We talked about growing up and some of the stuff that she's interested in - which funny enough is the same kind of stuff I am interested in. We are very similar I think.  

Anyway, yesterday was not a good eating day as I forgot that I had a team lunch - it wasn't a blow-it-out-of-the-water lunch, but it wasn't what it needed to be. I had a hunters chicken - which is a chicken breast topped with BBQ sauce, bacon and cheese, and chips. Luckily, because it was a posh pub that we went to, the portions aren't big. And then for dinner with my sister, I made pesto pasta - brown pasta, pesto, veggies and rocket. Which because I made so much of, I will be eating for the rest of the week. I'm alright with it because I can have a cup full with each meal and it'll only be about 350 cals - SO I just need to be strict that I don't eat too much else other than those two meals. I can do that. 

This morning I weighed and shockingly it was only 64.3kg - if I am good till Saturday and eat nothing other than what I'm supposed to, I'm hoping to get to low 63's. I might need to just up my walking a bit. I can do that too. 

(Just a sidenote as I write this, I am standing at the tube and inexplicably this guy next to me keeps bending over and rubbing his ass against my leg - WHAT THE SHIT, yo!?) 

4 sleeps till Egypt! 😍 (read: 4 sleeps to lose 1.3kg!) 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

Sometimes, You're Hermoine Granger

Well you know when a person doesn't post, it means shits going wrong... Or going down. My shit has been going a little wrong - as in bad eating, but have more or less managed to rein it in... Kinda. Yesterday morning I was 63.5kg which was obviously wonderful, but then yesterday I must've had about 3000 cals worth of Mexican food, beer and snacks. It's kinda okay because I spent like all day walking around. So I didn't weigh this morning, but will do tomorrow. 

I'm off to Egypt on Saturday, so I need to sort my shit out. 

Yesterday, I was with the Italian - who is lovely. I mean, he's not smart. He's not stupid either to be fair, but I definitely feel like Hermoine Granger around him. He's just so damn hot. I had originally planned to ghost him, because I was just not feeling it. And in the beginning, it was definitely awkward. I like the way he holds me around my waist and moves me around. He also calls me skinny... And let's be honest ED girls, if someone calls you skinny... Anyway, he might be a lovely season guy - the kind you keep around to snuggle with in winter. 

On Saturday, I went swimming at my pond and my god, I just love it so much. The swimming obviously, but I am now building a weird fascination with the other women that go there. Not in a creepy way, but my body actually looks pretty damn good by comparison. I've definitely got less jiggle than most of them and even though I hate my fat stomach, most of them have a fat stomach. Even my boobs are pretty awesome. It's almost a confidence boost going there - not to say there is anything wrong with those ladies at all, because there isn't and they are all weirdly beautiful in their own uniqueness, but the things that I am so afraid of as far as how I see my own body... Like seeing how "normal" these normal women are makes me just think that I'm actually doing alright and that I don't need to worry about it quite as much as I do. 

Obviously I'm not going to stop trying to be thinner, but maybe I don't need to be AS thin as I thought I needed to be. Also, it made me realise my little sister and I have like exactly the same body shape. Weirdly. Except she's got better legs. 

Anyone been watching the Olympics? Cuz I'm fucking obsessed. It's honestly the best and greatest. I am obsessed with the gymnastics, as I have always been. 

Reference to an earlier point, another reason I didn't blog last week was because I spent my tube time - I.e. When I normally write these things - reading Harry Potter. If you have not read the Cursed Child and you're a Potter fan (SAMMY, I AM TALKING TO YOU!) - read it. I mean, it's super short and I tried to drag it out for as long as possible, but it's SO good. 

Peace & Love from London 

Xo Xo 

Hello, Vagina My Old Friend

I seem to have recovered as far as sleep goes and have had two pretty good nights of sleep, so I'm feeling less like chicken little (I.e. That the sky is falling). Yesterday (and today probably also), I completely ignored my entire team. I feel really unsupported and like they don't give a shit about their jobs or our company. So if they don't give a shit about their jobs, then neither do I. My boss always asks me my opinion about them and what they're doing - I always give a sugar coated answer (I'm no snitch), but NO longer. I am not sugar coating anymore and if they get worked out, then I accept that as a teachable moment. 

My weight is 63.9kg today, I didn't have a 600 day yesterday, more like 1200. I'm gonna try be better today. I have a weekend full of BBQs coming up so will need to manage that. Been hovering in this 63's for ages now. 

Yesterday, I saw a vagina on the tube. A woman was wearing a tight black pencil skirt and was solidly sitting with her legs wide open. Hello, vagina. Maybe she likes people looking at it? 

That brings my junk on the tube total to 4 - penis, penis and balls, penis and now a vagina. For anyone who lives in a big city, I'm sure you've also seen a lot of dick, this is my first snatch though. 

TGIF & Love 

Xo Xo 

Summer Exhaustion

This week has been fucking rough and it's only 60% complete. Lorrrrrrd, give me strength. 

I had this crazy board meeting on Tuesday which basically stressed me back into insomnia and then despite my complete lack of sleep, met with the Italian on Tuesday night for an outdoor movie. (Basically, they put a massive screen up in the park and show an old movie - this one was My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which is the monologue of my law degree.) The Italian and I then had a closing cocktail, by which point I was unable to keep my hands off him any longer. 

So that led to me getting an Uber home at 2am and another night of less than 4 hours sleep. And a mild hangover which led to a bit of excessive chocolate consumption yesterday, my weight this morning was 64.1kg. I'm sure though that some of this is food weight. I will see tomorrow. I'm gonna try for a solid 600 days today. 

Other than the stress at work that is driving me a bit nuts, it's just over a month till New York and two weeks till Egypt. Things are fast approaching. 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo 

Is It Possible To Be THIS Grumpy?

Today, I'm just in a horrible mood. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm massively stressed out about work - we just aren't hitting milestones that we need to. *stress* 

I also feel like my friends are being a bit shit at the moment, very self-involved and I want them to ask me about my life sometimes. And actually care when I give an answer about something. This whole weekend was talking about other people. I'm meant to do this standup thing on Wednesday, I'm not prepared. I think I'm gonna cancel. 

I went on a date with Ivan, the Italian. And it was strangely perfect. Two problems - he is a Christian (I don't have a problem with Christians or anything, it's just an immense philosophical difference that we have - I.e. I generally only date atheists) and the other is that English isn't his first language (but his English is actually pretty good given that fact) - I am however going to give myself a self-therapy moment and tell myself that no two people are exactly perfect and that it isn't the end of the world if he is slightly different from the picture of a perfect man. 

This is also going to sound maybe a bit shallow, but he is SO hot - his body is honestly perfect. Like Tarzan - long and muscular. It's like... Damn. I'm meant to be seeing him tomorrow and I'm a little excited, I mean he's a super nice, kinda fun, passionate Italian. And he doesn't mind that I'm bossy. 

On Friday morning, my weight was 63.3. And then I had two and a half days of immense eating, so I'm not weighing myself until at least Wednesday. I'm sure I will have gained, but a few good days of restricting should fix that right up. 

I have another three weeks to get down to 62kg. 

Peace & Love 

Xo Xo