So I didn't go to class yesterday or this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me - it's like I just can't face the world. I can see everyone getting tired of me being miserable and useless. But all I want to do is lie in bed and be miserable. Anyway.

Yesterday after I posted, I ate everything. It got to a point where my stomach literally felt as if it was going to tear from all the food I shoved into it. So disgraceful, but I pledge to be honest you know? So far today I have only had a cup of coffee. I have a casting later - my first one ever - my agency let me know about it yesterday, but it is jerseyshore themed! How weird is that!? So I have to dress jersey. This may be tough, but I have the right kind of accent. Anyway, going to eat as little as possible today, which may be hard since I ate so much yesterday and that usually makes me super hungry. I made tomato soup yesterday which I didn't eat, so I shall just have some of that. I only have two and a half weeks to lose 11lbs. This is not the time to fuck around.

I went to my doctor today about my lady issues. I couldn't get the pap because she had concerns. So now I have to go have another test next week and go see another doctor to rule out any "physiological issues" i.e. cancer. I guess the good news is that whatever happens they can just take the whole damn thing out - it's not like I want children. Although, everyone keeps telling me i'll change my mind, so they probably won't let me do that.

All too much effort for me right now, I just want to go back to sleep. Over it.
Peace & Respect

p.s. thanks Beth, your support is invaluable. XX