Just a quick quick update because the weather is great so we are off to do good weather kind of activities. Firstly, thank you SO much to everyone that is following my blog and especially more to those that are kind enough to share their thoughts with me. I really feel like I just don't have anyone to talk to about this shit and finally I feel like I have a circle, ya know? I chatted to him about this stuff last night a little and just basically told him that until I get to my goal weight (i.e. 132lbs) he needs to lay off on bugging me about eating. I said that I would be willing to negotiate after that point. He agreed to there is some finality to that at least.
Yesterday was an okay to bad kinda day. I had lunch with a friend in the bay so I ended up having deep fried fish (I KNOW!) and a salad. Then came home and got stoned and had a milkshake and about three slices of cheddar. Luckily that's all I ate for the day which was fine and there was a LOT of walking involved so not too bad. But then I also drank the better part of two bottles of white wine - CALORIES MUCH! Ya, feeling like right shit this morning though. Anddddddd with a hangover comes - binging. *cries* So this morning I had the majority of a BIG bag of crisps. But luckily, I have the option of not eating anything else. If I have some salad or soup later, I think I will be able to save today.
And miraculously after last nights binge drinking, I am 1lb down from yesterday, but my stomach looks SO bloated. Yesterday it was almost flat, today... not so much. Retarded.
Sorry to ramble, but there is something else on my mind, so I guess since it's my blog and all... (thank you for reading again - means a lot to me) So last year when I lived in London I was dating this boy. Introduced to me by my polish friend. Him and I split after three months, and then she started dating him. So I cut them both out of my life - girl code, like WHO does that!? Recently started chatting to her, realised that I was rash and I have him now, so you know, I can be happy for them. BUT they just broke up and shes asking advice blah blah BLAH, and you know - I'm giving it. But, I mean... Okay. I don't think I am a bad person, but deep down I just want them to never speak to each other and just be finished. Like somehow, I kinda feel like they don't deserve happiness with each other, because of how much they collectively hurt me (BAD break up including physical violence). I want him to fuck off back to Oz and her to do her usual date losers thing. Like, I'm jealous almost. I dunno. Maybe that makes me a bad person. But, without being juvenile, they started it. Well... he started it. OKAY SORRY SORRY, will stop ranting now.
Will post lovely thinspo later - I'm feeling bikini thinspo ready. Again, thank you so much to all the readers, followers and lovely input. I read all of your blogs religiously. It is my favourite thing to do when I get home from class everyday to unwind, I catch up on your blogs. Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Peace, Love & Respect
Xo Xo
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