The Torture Never Ends

Today was going to well. Yesterday I ate around 500 cals and I was fine. Today however I was ravenous when I got home. Then my boyfriend told me he was going for drinks with the boys - my reaction - binge time baby! So I ate about 5 slices of white bread, at least 4 ounces of cheddar cheese, two vegan sausauges with tomato sauce, a mug of horlicks, countless amount of butter and a whole heap of vegan chilli. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Then I tried to purge, but for some reason my iron stomach just won't throw up. WHAT THE FUCK! I just want to die. I have had enough. Going to try and jump rope to try burn some of the calories off. I mean that is like 3000 calories at least. What the fuck is wrong with me. Goddammit. I wish I could throw up. I need to feel empty. Fasting tomorrow.