So, yesterday I had my commercial shoot which turned out to be absolutely amazing. It was really long and kinda boring, but there were dancing Yetis and Eskimos involved, so it turned out alright. I managed to not eat any of the food that was there for cast and crew the whole day which included a very nice selection of pastries. But then I also gave this boy a lift home and then instead he came home and we smoked a bit - he is very very cute, but then he also met my boy. And they got on like a house on fire. We got on like a house on fire. He got both mine and my boys numbers before he left, I wish he'd text me though, I feel like I made a new friend there. And who knows, after I move out - maybe.
Anyway, but saying this things with the boy are going better. Well that's a lie, I don't know how they are going. I am trying to be lovely and the kind of girl that he fell in love with, but I don't know if it's working. I don't know, I don't care. I want an awesome job that pays well so I can get out of here. The awesome thing about that boy I met yesterday is that he also wants to go back to London... a damn sight better than my current 'i'll never go there' boy's attitude. Anyway, no point thinking about these things yet.
I have decided to do some online volunteering for the UN, which I have done before while I am out of work, just to boost my CV. Also, I am going to enter the BP National Portrait Award next year. I entered this year, but didn't get in. But next year, I am entering again. Hopefully I shall get into the exhibition. Which would be amazing. But I need to get my ambition back. I am writing an exam tomorrow, so that's probably a good place to start.
One thing that the shoot yesterday also did was to confirm my resolve to never eat again. The leads in the commercial were obviously both super skinny. So if you wanna get somewhere in that industry, then skinny you need to be. Then I am going to join another agency. When I am 58kgs. But then when I got home yesterday, stoned off my ass I binged like crazy. So no pasta for a week - I failed at that. But today I plan to fast and go to bed at 10pm sharp. Then have only cherries tomorrow before my exam at 5pm. And fast until Saturday. Even after my binge yesterday, I weighed in at 63 flat this morning, so 138. Which is a fail. (136 would be better), but still not terrible. I need to break 136. NEED TO! Will do so by the end of the week if I am good. I am motivated ladies and Will. If I am to be single soon and make something out of this commercial thing, then I need to be 58. 128. 10lbs. I can do it by the end of the year I think. Although I don't think 128 will be low enough, but we shall see.
If anyone has suggestions or a challenge to start next Tuesday (I finish exams on Monday), then lemme know. I'm keen to join! :)
Peace, Strength & Skinny Pride
Xo Xo
10 comments:
Goodluck with exams miss piggy!! You will ace it! London sounds amazing im planning to go there after i get my degree and work there for a year or so <3. .. I need a challenge too and someone to help keep me motivated wonder what is out there! !!! Xx
Goodluck with exams miss piggy!! You will ace it! London sounds amazing im planning to go there after i get my degree and work there for a year or so <3. .. I need a challenge too and someone to help keep me motivated wonder what is out there! !!! Xx
I'm commenting on all your recent posts in one big comment.
1) I always feel that way about exams. If I think it went well, everyone says the opposite. That's why I reserve judgment on how I did until I get my mark.
2)It's cool that you want to go to England, I want to travel but I need to make money for me and my family before I can even think about travelling. *sad face*
3) My eating has been haphazard and I need to get control asap
4) The cutting on your stomach sounds really bad, I hate reading about people cutting.
Hm ...
Where do you live now? England?
Amazing how you talk about your boyfriend. It really sounds like you wouldn't care at all if the relationship end.
Well you must be quite thin if you're already doing some shootings. Jealousy ... :D Haha. But really, use the other models as a thinspo.
I'm doing the 60 days challenge now but I'd love to also do another challenge next week. Maybe something like a fast for 2 or 3 days, then eat one day (something that makes sense), fast again, eat one day, fast again. I would loooove to try something like that.
xxx
The shoot sounds fun! I feel like this is really creepy, but I'm super curious as to what you look like, have you ever posted pictures on here or something?
Anyway, it really does sound like you don't care too much about your relationship at all, no offense. One of my friends was in a situation kinda like that this summer and she eventually realized that it was more work than it was worth, ended it, and was way more content with it than she thought she would be.
Oh my gosh okay too much talking, good luck with the 10 pounds, I know you can do it!!
<3
keep it up, you're so close! I'm glad your shoot went well :)
kick that exam in the ass!!!!!
I'm sure you can lose another 10lbs, we can do it together. Next week I hope to be working properly, in which case I will be able to FAST. Being home with family makes fasting so hard. So I'll be counting fasting hours and exercising!
I'd love to join a challenge with you :) How much are you wanting to lose and by when? oh and RE your boy, I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but this is voice of experience speaking : You are prolonging misery, my dear. it's just a mindfuck at this point it sounds like and I know how hard it it is but the sooner you cut it off, the better!
**hugs**
pastries! i'd gotten good at avoiding those. xD. because i get really messy when i eat them, so i'm like "....no, i don't eat messy food". i've gotten to be such a restriction bore! from claiming it so much, i actually grimace whenever i think of messy foods!
MY BABY IVE MISSED YOU SO
AMBITION - WHERE DID YOU GO?
pasta is also my weakness. it's not so messy that i can say i don't eat it >_< but then my pasta is so repetitive that during my binge/purge/starve cycle, i made enough for 5, but ate a little less than the average person and threw the rest away because it's so repetitive in taste.
you can totally braek 136, baby! <3 <3 <3
10lbs by the end of the year. i hope we can do it!
-Sam Lupin
Ms. Piggy!
I'm back once again. He he. Lord, this is becoming quite the cycle hu? This comment is going to respond to the last few posts and comments. It's going to get jumbly, bare with me. ;)
One, fuck your boyfriend. But no, not because you're having problems, because he got to see Kings of Leon!
"I never ever cried when I was feeling down
I've always been scared of the sound
Jesus don't love me, no one ever carried my load
I'm too young to feel this old" Some of my favorite lyrics ever!
Anyway, that's fairly irrelevant. Ha ha. Jumbly, I'm telling you. I am sorry to hear about your boy though. I do think you should end things, it's so much easier if done before things get nasty. But of course, no one ever knows a relationship like the two in it. :)
Tsk, tsk, tsk. I really wish you wouldn't cut yourself. It's such an unhealthy habit (Said between two eating disordered, right? Ha ha.) But really, it simply does Not promote healthy thought. That's the big part, one is obviously far from a healthy, happy life when they turn to physically cutting themself. Anyway, I'm not your shrink, I'll quit lecturing now. ;) I just love you and want you happy! :)
Hm, what next, what next. (This is gonna be one long comment.) Oh! That's awesome you shot for a beer commercial! When you get your email thingy you'll have to let me know what brand of beer so I can get some and drink to ya! :D
Ok, random shit now! I want an Xbox Kinect so bad! I hope you get your funding for school! But also hope you can get your visa in case you decide to go to London! Oh! And I totally tried the Happy Penguin Dance! Funny story, the other day I was looking up giant stuffed animals (don't ask) and saw an African Penguin one! It totally reminded me of you, just because it was African, the penguin oart is totally coincidence! I'm totally jealous of that by the way. That you live in South Africa. I've Always wanted to visit, maybe even move there. If you and your boy do break up maybe I'll wander on over there. ;D
Anyway, this comment is just out of control, I sound insane. I want to wish you luck with everything to come and hope to hear from you soon! Sincerely, William <3
P.S. When I hear from you next we'll definitely have to sort out some challenge for next week. I haven't been doing so well on that front either. :/
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