500 or 5000

Sooooooooo, Monday was a success and ended on about 550 cals for the day and woke up yesterday morning at 61kg. Which was fabulisimo. Then yesterday, I fucked it up at a friends house, because she had a thift sale thing because she is immigrating to Brazil. All these Polish and German people, like here have pizza, have cheese have this and that. And I went there with the intention of saying no. But I had a peanut, and it was over. Then about 4 small slices of pieces, so much cheese and cured meat, crisps, nuts, a couple glasses of red. Not enough to feel full, but constant nibbling over a few hours. You know how that goes. Fuck balls. Anyway, so then I came home, but before I did I had a chat with my friend about Roy and his engagement. Which obviously mad me very sad, so I came home and had to stay awake so I could watch a live stream of a Killers concert - which was mutha fucken epic *happy penguin dance* and in the process started drinking. Then ran out of Jack, so I went to the store to buy more wine and got pasta in the process. Just pasta though, which although it was still something I wasn't meant to have, I usually turn these things into MASSIVE binges. Like you know, when it rains, it pours. If I am going to 'cheat' it is going to be worthy. My days are either 500 cal days or 5000 cals. Ridic isn't it? Anyway so then I went home and ate that with the wine, two pots of low-fat custard and a chicken salad. Which was tres yummy, but still. Anyway, so that was my fuck up last night. And I just got drunk and cried for a couple of hours. But you know? Crying last night, like sobbing and being angry and screaming, has actually made me feel a fuckton better today. I haven't started randomly screaming "I HATE YOU" like someone with tourettes, which I have been doing for the past couple of days, so that's good.

I have also decided that I am going to move to Las Vegas after I get my British passport. And I'm going to do that by registering my business in the US which will entitle to me to living there for a year. Or I can marry someone for a greencard. I'm not above that. Any takers? I'm crazy, but I cook like a demon and my cat is super cute. I kind of feel like Vegas is my kind of city. Like there is city, then there is desert. It's mysterious and fake. Dramatic. Exciting. Anyway, I consider myself to be a fake person. I feel like I put on a show for people. Like I have to be this exciting happy flamboyant person ALL THE TIME. Even the way I dress, I always dress fashionably, because I want people to have this impression of me that I'm super fabulous, trendy and the kind of girl that you would WANT to know. I guess Vegas is perfect for me, because you have the strip and within 25 minutes you are in a fake rendition of the old west. Man, I think if I were a city, I may be Vegas actually. Gosh its so exciting. If I can get a green card before then, I'd definitely go sooner. Yes we can!

Today so far, I've had a custard pot (I love these), two slices of chicken breast and some coffee. I plan to have soup for dinner. Maybe a small salad so that I'll be at about 600 for the day? Maybe even 700? I think I want to try alternating my cal intakes between days to keep the metabolism guessing, which is the same vibe as the SGD and ABC. So maybe 700 today and 400 tomorrow? Something like that. FUCKING HELL MY FOOT IS SORE. Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last post. Ya'll are so supportive its ridic.

Custard & Chicken
Xo Xo