Control

So I met with a tattoo artist yesterday in Camden Town. It looks pretty damn rad and it's going to be a lot more expensive than I was anticipating, but hey. Such is the price of vanity, I suppose. Anyway. I have nothing to report really, except that I have been doing precious little else except getting stoned for the last two days... Well, no that's not technically true I suppose. I was out the whole of yesterday. I got some shit for my flat. Some decor type stuff, cuz I'm trying to make my flat more homey, instead of it being just the place where my shit is. In addition, I reorganised everything which included getting rid of all my Roy-stuff. This included a locket, a heart shaped pebble that he gave me and a couple of pictures. Until now, I didn't feel like I wanted to get rid of it, since it is the last remaining part of myself that reminds me of the relationship, so fuck it. It was cleansing. I also bought this beautiful leather bound notebook. The reason behind this strategic nugget is that my current notebook has a lot of stuff I wrote about during the break up and stuff. So that had to go, along with the rest of the stuff. I have gotta move forward. Yeah, so I just walked around for ages. At the moment, I'm listening to this 70s folkish type singer from Detroit called Rodriguez. If you wanna hear something beautiful. Give it a listen. :)

The detox is still going strong, on day... 14 today. I have still only had the detox food. Yesterday, in my stoned state I did eat a lot of nuts and fruit though. Like a shit load. So between thursday and friday I lost 1.4kg. But then I didn't weigh this morning, because I ate so much last night. I will weigh tomorrow morning. Today, to make up for last night, I'm having a low cal day. So I've had about 300 cals today. I'm hoping that it will all balance out. I need to look skinny for the 13th, which is this thing with this guy. I don't necessarily like him at all. But I need to prove myself to be beyond a certain level of badassery. This is my new schtick in life - bad assery. I am feeling so good about my head space at the moment. Because I've finally been able to commit to properly controlled eating and my weight is dropping back down. I don't have to worry about being out of control. I am in control. Of my eating and of life in general. It is actually very crazy how the two correspond. Once I'm back in control of the eating, the rest of my shit is following. I have started to organise my flat. And for the last three months while my eating has been out of control, my flat has also been like that. Just a fucking mess all the time. Laundry tomorrow though *cry*

Love & Sugar

Xo Xo