Fucktastical and Sexy as Fuck

Well, as it turns out, I was completely paranoid about absolutely nothing and the whole weekend was a raging success... Really. Well most of it, cuz it got very crazy today. But, I'll get there. On Saturday, just before I met the Northerner, I went to buy smokeables, mostly because I was totally nervous that I would just act so awkward around him if I didn't. Incidentally, on Saturday when I left to meet him, I weighed 63.8kg. Which is fucking great. So, I went to meet him and we pretty much got exceptionally high for 24 hours and then at some point and I'm not sure how, things got... physical. And I know this is a weird thing to say about someone random, but honestly, it was the best sex I've had... Maybe ever. I mean, the great thing about it was that it wasn't sweet and gentle. It was hard and rough, which is not something that most people are into or enjoy... whatever. But it was great. Like. It really was just absolutely amazing. And he was all cute and shit afterwards, like wanting to make out and shit in public, which I don't do, but I thought it was very sweet that he was like that. ANYWAY. OH and. It started snowing last night, so I finally got to kiss someone in the snow. Which was a mission of mine for the winter. So really, all in all. FUCK YEAH. On Saturday, I felt really really weak because I ate nothing on friday and for a quick burst of energy, I had a pack of biltong (kinda like jerky) and an orange juice. So more or less... 350 cals. And that was it. 

When he was leaving my place yesterday, I got a fb message from a friend inviting me over to his house to smoke a bit. And this guy, Danny and I have made out before, but he has a girlfriend. Joe, the Northerner is friends with Dannys ex, so they know each other. I haven't seen Dan in months, so it was really weird that he called me out of the blue. Joe got jealous though, which was the cutest thing. After I went to Danny he was texting me obsessively asking if Dan was behaving himself. Anyway, it gets better. So when we left, we had a quick bite to eat at a burger place in St Pancras. I had a veggie burger with a slice of stilton on it and a few chips with mayonaise. I was quite hungry at that point. So, i broke the detox for the first time in 21 days. I ate the patty itself with the relish and shit, and the bottom half of the bun. I left three quarters of the chips and most of the bread. So, it wasn't a total fuck up, although I'm bummed that I broke the detox. I also had a small bag of almonds. 

Anyway, so I went to Dannys place and it was snowing like a whore. We got absolutely wrecked, smoking joint after joint and also drinking a lot of rum with normal coke *cry*, so there were those calories as well. I think realistically, I probably had about 2000 to 2500 cals yesterday. Fuck, now I need to calculate. Okay, not that high. ANYWAY. So we were just sitting chatting and his girlfriend is away in Italy for a week, and he was getting really flirty. But, in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself that there is no way he'd make a move on me, because he has a fucking girlfriend, who he lives with. ANYWAY, so he started saying all this shit about how he has always thought I was really hot and he has always had a weird crush on me. Blah blah. (All this time, I'm saying to myself: Don't be stupid, if you ignore it it will go away). He was saying that I reminded him of tank girl. Whoever the fuck that is. Something about Madonna, with my white blonde hair and combat boots. I don't even know who that is though, to be honest. So we were just chilling and the snow was chucking down outside and he said I should stay over, sofa bed in the lounge vibes. I thought it was great, cuz I mean. Stoned in the snow at 4am in North London. Probably really just not the greatest. I stayed over and as I falling asleep he went to his bedroom, which I assumed meant he was going to sleep and he came back in a pair of boxer briefs and a tank top. *sigh* I mean really, FUCKING *SIGH*. And he lay down next to me and pretty much just inched himself closer and closer to me until he was pretty much spooning me. But if I said anything, he wouldn't reply, so I kinda thought it was just drunk, sleeping snuggles, cuz he missed his girlfriend or something. And then he tried to feel me up, so I shut his shit down. And as soon as I woke up, I left. SO AWKWARD. I know he was drunk, benefit of the doubt. And the thing is that gets me is that he knows I was fucking Joe all that day and he is friends with Joe AND he didn't care. Like, if nothing else. NOTHING ELSE. That is way nasty. 

Today after I get home, I got a call from Danny asking me if I had seen his grinder with his weed in it. And then what transpired after that was pretty much a fullblown accusation from Danny that I had stolen his shit. But not just insinuated. He said that he knew I had taken it. And that it was such a bad idea to steal from him. DAFUQ!? Now, I don't know about any of you guys, but I do not take kindly to being accused of theft. Eventually he found the damn thing and started apologising profusely. I just laughed, because he texted Joe to tell him to look out for his grinder. Which is really not cool to start telling people that I am a thief. Like that really FUCKED me off. So I threatened to tell his girlfriend that he had tried to put his hand down my pants... I really don't do shit like that, because it's none of my business. But fuck, I couldn't just let him spread stories about me. 

Anyway, so that's the story of my weekend. Today, I've eaten about 800 calories, which consisted of two beef grillsteaks which i put in lettuce wraps with low-cal guacomole and salsa. I am actually kinda proud of that intake though, because I really did contemplate going for a sandwich this morning and not going back to the detox, but now I have. And I feel really proud of it. So I'm definitely going to stick to this detox plan as my default diet, with one cheat day every two weeks... :) I'm going to weigh tomorrow and I hope I'm still in the 63's. And that my huge disaster dinner yesterday didn't fuck it up too badly. Hopefully. I'm hoping to see Joe tomorrow before he goes back North. He's been texting me a lot since he left, and it kinda is one of those situations where it would be so nice for it to turn into something more... Because a good fuck is hard to find. Truth be told. And he's a nice guy, with a fuckin rocking body. OH and he sings like Johnny Cash, no jokes. And that makes me weak at the knees, musical men. He plays the banjo, mandolin and guitar. I mean. LOVELY. Anyway, I dunno, I didn't really want to say anything about him, because it definitely won't amount to anything since he lives so far away. But goddamn. It was a great weekend and the great GREAT thing about it is that I didn't totally fuck my diet in the process, so I may actually have just maintained my weight. According to my original goal, I needed to be under 63.4 this morning to reach the 2kg per week loss. Let's see what tomorrow says :)

Sorry about the REALLY REALLY long post, but it is just spilling the fuck out of me. 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo