Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Status: Porpoise

So my scale is DEFINITELY broken, I weighed at 62.2kg, but honestly I look like a cow. Like I look pregnant, not even joking. Like one of those malnourished African kids with skinny limbs and a big belly. I don't FEEL bloated though even though Mother Nature has kindly delivered my period (thanks, bitch). I don't get it. But nevertheless, there is literally no chance on this earth that I could weigh that, defo a busted scale - and Belle re: your comment, I think I just treat my scales badly. I kick them and move them a lot, drop things on them. I think that's probably why. (Scale abuse?) 

I didn't really eat skinny yesterday either - I had my lunch pasta and more of that for dinner and a beer. With the Italian. We had another mini fight, but fuck it. I'm not gonna lie dudes, I really do like him. He has this look when he's thinking about something, like he's a million miles away and his eyes are just so still. 

I'm still a bit jumpy around him, like waiting for him to see my flaws and run a mile. Whether that's my body or myself the way I am. I'm trying to relax. He was being irritating yesterday and I walked out of his flat - yes I know, real mature Piggy. Anyway, I walked out and got straight on a bus. He literally followed me across Clapham and begged me not to go. I felt like such an ass and he made me promise not to walk away from him again. I feel like such an ass. I couldn't believe he followed me, I was really glad that he did. *why am I so stubborn* 

Something else dreadful happened yesterday, but I won't go into detail... Nothing I write here could ever do justice to this amazing person. All I will say, RIP beautiful moonchild, Mikki. My heart is broken. 

Love & Sadness
Xo Xo 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Dramatic Monday's. Period.

So my scale is DEFINITELY broken, I weighed at 62.2kg, but honestly I look like a cow. Like I look pregnant, not even joking. Like one of those malnourished African kids with skinny limbs and a big belly. I don't FEEL bloated though even though Mother Nature has kindly delivered my period (thanks, bitch). I don't get it. But nevertheless, there is literally no chance on this earth that I could weigh that, defo a busted scale - and Belle re: your comment, I think I just treat my scales badly. I kick them and move them a lot, drop things on them. I think that's probably why. (Scale abuse?) 

I didn't really eat skinny yesterday either - I had my lunch pasta and more of that for dinner and a beer. With the Italian. We had another mini fight, but fuck it. I'm not gonna lie dudes, I really do like him. He has this look when he's thinking about something, like he's a million miles away and his eyes are just so still. 

I'm still a bit jumpy around him, like waiting for him to see my flaws and run a mile. Whether that's my body or myself the way I am. I'm trying to relax. He was being irritating yesterday and I walked out of his flat - yes I know, real mature Piggy. Anyway, I walked out and got straight on a bus. He literally followed me across Clapham and begged me not to go. I felt like such an ass and he made me promise not to walk away from him again. I feel like such an ass. I couldn't believe he followed me, I was really glad that he did. *why am I so stubborn* 

Something else dreadful happened yesterday, but I won't go into detail... Nothing I write here could ever do justice to this amazing person. All I will say, RIP beautiful moonchild, Mikki. My heart is broken. 

Love & Sadness
Xo Xo 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Another Scale Bites The Dust (ANOTHER!!)

I got home from Egypt yesterday morning after two very miserable days of a terrible migraine which left me in bed feeling sorry for myself and alone with no wifi, no tv and no distraction. This migraine was next level and I wasn't able to sit up without an intense throbbing  which on a regular pain scale was an easy 10. Anyway, so I got in yesterday morning with no sleep, I tried to soldier on, wanting a good nights rest rather than a few broken naps. I still have a bit of the migraine left, but it's almost manageable now. 

By 8pm, I put on the McGregor vs Diaz fight (UFC 202) (legendary fight) - and caved in to the cravings, and had a serious pasta, Doritos, milkshake binge. 

This morning, I knew I had to face the music i.e. The scale and see how far I've slipped, expecting a solid 65kg+. Yet, even after the binge, the scale read 62.8kg. I kinda blinked at it for a minute and picked up my cat, Gremlin to check if the scale was broken. I weighed him, a solid 4.5kg - perfect weight for my little furball, put him down and tried again, 62.9kg. Which is the precise weight that I was before Egypt. 

I'm convinced it is now broken (the 0.1kg fluctuation as my evidence) - I am going to see what it is tomorrow and if it's not more realistic, I'll have to get a second one. Can't be having a scale that lies.

I'm actually not too tired, but my back is still sore from the safari on Thursday last week.

I was meant to see the Italian last night, but I was just destroyed, so he had a major strop with me about this. And now at least I know his fighting style - emotional blackmail. "If you really liked me then..." and "I thought you were different, but obviously you're not..." So essentially, I put him straight and told him that if that's how he's going to try and be with me then he won't ever hear from me again, I don't play those games. He backed down very quickly. Little fucker. It was amusing. 

Anyway, happy Monday y'all. 

Instagram name has now changed to keranberan (some holiday pics are up there)! 

Last week of August, can you believe it? 

Peace & Love from my favourite of favourites, smokey London 
Xo Xo 

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Impossible Skinny Eating In Egypt

Bear with me, as I wrote this yesterday and then the Internet died a spectacular death. 

I have come to the realisation that there is no such thing as eating skinny in Egypt for three reasons: 
1. (This is a fairly obvious one) Being in the middle of the desert means practically no fruit and vegetables - the only ones that seem in regular supply are cucumber, tomato, lettuce, some kind of marrow/squash and melon. 
2. The staple diet because of the above is bread, rice, pasta (macarona? I know, this surprised me too), sugar and more bread.
3. When you are the centre of attention you get offered a lot of food and you can't turn it down, so you graciously accept and eat it. I get offered a LOT of food. 

Today, I went on a day long boat trip which involved snorkelling and a stop of this island. I went to say hi to my Egyptian family and as fate would have it, they were all coming on the same boat trip. So we boated all day - it was nice, but exhausting. There was no such thing as me doing my own thing and endless (and I mean endless) pictures being taken. The photographer on the boat was getting awful handsy at one point. Little brother, Ahmed got really upset and told him off, and then told his mother who told the photographer "no touch". It was honestly the sweetest thing. I have resolved to go visit them in Cairo as soon as I can and to take my big sister with me. I think she will hate the culture, because she is a no BS kind of person and doesn't take well to people hassling her. But I told her already that she needs to shut up and bear it, because it will only cause trouble if she doesn't. I LOVE EGYPT! More than Egypt, I love Egyptians. 

This island we stopped at was like being in the middle of a barren desert - there was literally jackshit on this whole island. I mean - jackshit. There is an army house and a couple of "umbrellas" made of palm fronds, but that's it. It was about 1pm when we got there and I went straight to the little umbrella place, because this lily white skin is not made for that kind of sun. The family thought I was sad and it was all I could do to try to explain to them that I would get sunburnt, they didn't understand at all. So we settled on it being too hot for me. They laughed. 

The boat was all Egyptian, I was the only Westerner. None of them used any sunblock - at all. Some of the younger ones got a bit sunburnt and were generally not happy by the end of the day. It's so unheard of. I mean, we don't even leave the house in grey old London without at least and SPF15. 

The lunch was actually pretty kickass, they made rice, pasta, kofta, fried fish, salad (with the creamiest yummiest cheese in it), potatoes and some other bits that I didn't have. I only had the salad, fish, kofta and potatoes. And there were also litres of fat Pepsi going - my heart. I love the culture of food here, everyone just tucks in, no ceremony, just family and sharing. You eat from each other's plates, take a bite and pass on, swop things on each other's plates. Honestly, this is what food should be... Without the carbs. 😂

Right at the end of the trip, they were playing super jazzy Egyptian music, which I am IN LOVE with and everyone was dancing. More accurately they were trying to make me dance and as we know, white people can't dance, except if we are drunk and think we are the reincarnation of Freddie Mercury. They thought I was hilarious, personally I am convinced I looked like a drunk noodle. Again, they filmed me acting like a drunk noodle. 

Tomorrow, I would love to have a day of tanning by the pool as I'm pretty beat from the trip today and on Thursday, I have a desert safari. I really want to go to the beach, but am pretty petrified of being swamped again by this photo story. Honestly, I must be the most photographed tourist in Hurghada at the moment. It's intense. Even today on the boat and on the beach, random people asking for pictures and I don't really know how I am supposed to say no... That aside, I'm gonna put some pics on my Instagram of my adopted family and general stuff. Defo follow me if you haven't. keranboyd is the username! :) 

I really REALLY hope that I don't put on too much while I'm here. It definitely will be 2kgs at least. And then the battle to get below 62 will continue. I am going to skip dinner I think and just sip some Diet Pepsi and download my day into my journal before I forget. Well, my other journal. This is one of them. 

Love & Sunshine from Hurghada 
Xo Xo 

Monday, August 15, 2016

From Hurghada With Love

I arrived safely, thank you for the thought! <3 

It's going to be so difficult to sum up what's been happening in the last two days here, but let me start with the man situation - unlike the Emirates, most of these men are pretty respectful, as in when you tell them no, they take this as a no and leave you alone. I haven't and will not touch any alcohol here, because I think perhaps that once things get loose with liquor, that might change. 

It is however completely impossible for me to walk anywhere with any kind of pace because every single person on the street will try to stop me. How are you? Where are you from? Excuse me, excuse me? Are you Russian? Can I look at your tattoos? For the most part, it is very friendly and I think they just want to have a chat... Or more likely to get me into their store to buy something. It is very sweet, but kinda annoying. I can understand though that they might not see something like me everyday. And it's friendly. So I'm pleased about that. 

Yesterday, I went to the beach and got mobbed by people wanting to take a picture with me. Pulling on my arms in every direction, completely oblivious of other people pulling me. It was about thirty people trying to get a picture. I asked my scuba buddy, Sadam Hussein why and he said that its unusual for them to see blonde hair and tattoos, so for them it's nice to have a photo. I mean, I'm happy to oblige, I just find it strange. And particularly as I really do enjoy the English way of being left alone, it's strange to me. 

I met a lovely, very large Egyptian family and hung out with them yesterday. There must have been about twenty family members across three generations and I had dinner with them. To say that I find how they are a bit strange would be an understatement, but only because it's not familiar. They insisted that I sit down all the time and that I drink and eat everything they gave me. So I did, it was very kind. 

My observation is that Egyptians love a good sugary treat. I discovered hibiscus tea which is OUT OF THIS WORLD, but with a ton of sugar in it. I ordered it and assumed they'd ask if I wanted sugar, they didn't. I don't really think I've had too much in the way of calories each day, but all the fucking sugar it's hard to tell. 

My Cairo family kept shoving cakes into my face and if I tried to say no, they'd say "please" and so of course, I had it. 

I'm not the biggest fan of the food here, except the flatbreads and yoghurt stuff - like omg. But the hot food is quite bitter, particularly this brown dish which is served with everything, it's beans and some other indecipherable stuff. Tons of potatoes. Apparently it is really difficult to get hold of fruit and vegetables here because surprise, desert. So they eat a lot of starch basically, which would also explain why most of the Egyptians I've seen are a little chub. Not huge, but a bit larger than normal. 

The biggest surprise has been the Islam factor - it isn't regimented or strict, but everyone just kinda does their vibe. When you read those articles about Islam being oppressive, I feel like that couldn't be further from the truth regarding Egyptian women specifically. The children don't wear headscarves, but the older women do. Some choose to wear the full hijab, but that's an exception to the rule. The women swim in modest bathing suits, but aren't completely submissive to their men. Their wives are respected and it's beautiful in the dynamic. The wives seem to have the role of family matriarch, looking after the kids, but the fathers do help out. The fathers of my Cairo family kept very proudly telling me about their children, how old they are, how smart they are. I think I had a very wrong idea of what it would be like. And certainly very different from my impression of Emirates - which I would describe in hindsight as more of a baller culture. 

Most of all, they don't care about me or the way I look and dress. It is very welcoming and very accepting. It's kinda like... You do you and I'll do me. 

So in a nutshell that's my impression thus far of Egypt. To any Egyptians reading, you guys are super awesome and sorry for sounding like an ignorant westerner. 

I wish I had a scale and some fruit, but otherwise I'm happy as a clam here. I also wish I didn't have a persistent headache, I suspect it is the heat. 

Peace & Love from Egypt 
Xo Xo