Thursday, August 17, 2017

The Peaks

For the last couple of days, Chris and I have been in the Peak District in the Midlands. Which is a hilly area in the middle of England. It has been absolutely wonderful in some ways and just frightening in others. We haven't been fighting, it has all been quite civilised and loving. Whether this is a sign of good things to come, I'm not sure. 

The good thing about the trip is that it has been active in the sense that there are a shiton of hills and walking up those equals calories burnt. The bad thing is that there has been regular eating, although not overindulging. 

I have decided that I want to be somewhat kinder to myself and not freak out about eating 1200 calories a day, because being that weight loss is a numbers game I will still lose this awful fat, although slower. But still loss. 

It's difficult, but I keep repeating to myself that my body is awesome and deserves to be fed beautiful nutritious food. There has been meal skipping and restricting... and obsessive calorie tracking, but one thing at a time right?

I weighed myself for the first time since last Saturday - another big step. 

I guess it's one of those 'baby step' things where you just gotta do small things at a time. The yoga of course helps because my body is way more toned than previously, so this weight doesn't look 'as bad' as it has previously. Additionally, going to a yoga class and not being able to keep up because I feel weak or feint is just fucking horrible so it serves as motivation to feed myself during the day and aim for a small meal at night (or no meal). 

Today is going to be a good day. 

FP 

Friday, August 11, 2017

Have You Seen 'To The Bone'?

What did you think...?

FP

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Off The Wagon

I have fallen squarely off the wagon and it's due to the fact that I've decided to not drink for this month - I've been toying with the idea of not drinking at all ever again owing to the fact that I'm a terrible drunk, health, expense, etc etc - so instead, being realistic about myself I decided to buy a crapload of weed and substitute. 

However, with weed comes the munchies and I've been eating non-stop for ages. The last few days it's been controlled, but not controlled enough. So too many calories, but not overeating. Today also wasn't great, because hummus. 

Anyway, the veganing is still happening and I feel so good about it - it's great to live more cruelty-free, I really feel like it speaks to my values. 

Chris will be here in a week. That's. one. week. 

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Fucking Period

Yesterday I weighed 68.1kg. But my period started. Yesterday I ate about 1300 calories plus a yoga session and today I'm 68.5kg. Period. Fuck. 

But today, I'm determined to not overdo it. Go to yoga and ride the period wave out. 

I will be in the 67s this week. 

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Vibing In A Positive Way

Today was positive. The scale said 68.4kg - which is excellent. I'm hoping I will be in the 67's by the end of the week, but I got my period and felt super bloaty by the start of yoga today - so fucking tits. Fucking tits. 

I have had about 1200 calories today, which isn't great - BUT I did an hour of flow class, which is about 400 cals burnt... allegedly. I also fucking kicked my yoga teacher in the face. Y'all don't believe me when I say I've got limbs that go on for days. Like, they are disproportionate. 

AND the big highlight of the day is that I fucking resigned. They weren't surprised, which fucking sucked. So here's the thing - this bitch fired me four years ago. She should've taken my side and she didn't. Now, me - being the vengeful person that I am wanted to go full psycho on her and kick some ass - tell her exactly what was up - but NO! Mutha fucker, nooooooo. She said she was "happy for me" and "what a great opportunity" - how the shit am I meant to be a bitch to her when she's all nice to me. SHE ROBBED ME OF MY CATHARSIS! 

... that aside, I'm incredibly happy that I don't have to deal with this company anymore. They asked me to work my notice, which is fine. I'm going to "work remotely" for a week next month and bugger off to the continent for a Eurotrip - I'm thinking I'm going to start in Talinn and end in Warsaw - OR start in Berlin and end in Vienna. Cuz fuccccck it. 

Anyway, so today was a good day. I'm praying for a nice (any) loss tomorrow, but who knows. I've started taking B12, because apparently vegans don't get this on a plant based diet and allegedly it helps with the metabolism, so I'm hoping it will go nuts and I'll get super skinny, super fast. Here's to hoping. 

Peace & Love
Xo Xo