I feel as though this is going to be a seriously long post, so I apologise and will try to keep it brief. To quote the eternal grandmaster of creepy, the legendary Mr Jack Skellington "I feel just like my old bony self again".
This is not a reference to my weight though sadly, because I am as of this morning 68.8kg. Not great, however. I look really good. For that weight. I've been doing so much yoga that my body is starting to get pretty toned and I love it. And though I am tracking everything I eat, I am trying to allow myself to have 1500 calories a day with a goal of 1lb or half a kg loss a week. I have to eat in order to do well at yoga and that has become important for me.
I plan to start training as a yoga teacher in potentially May next year.
I can't quite describe how this makes me feel about my body and looks, but it is on the whole super positive. I do have days like yesterday where I netted about 600 calories, you know - where it slips sometimes. But that was one day out of many.
When I was in university, I was fucking busy - I was always on the move and I loved it. I had 4/5 classes a day, I worked in the restaurant 2 nights a week, I was on student council, I went to judo twice a week and I partied like an animal. But I was in a flow state in life. I was happy, productive, motivated and just like in a good state.
That all ended when my parents got divorced and about a year after that was when I started this blog - and as you know if you've read this for a while - it hasn't been the easiest few years. BUT, at the moment, I feel incredible. I feel productive and like my life is moving forward to a place I want it to be.
I have a plan to get my citizenship here and then qualify as a yoga teacher and do that part time in addition to my job, until I'm qualified enough to teach yoga retreats in paradise. Like that's the next part of my five year plan.
I want to move into a bigger house, so I can get a dog that I want to take with me when I travel. And I want to do that more. Travel, I mean.
I've finally got an amazing job which I start next week doing what I love, exploring a new skill set, learning new things.
I have decided that I no longer wish to pursue Chris. After spending the last few days with him, he's just not the kind of influence I need in my life. It came to me all at once, but he's negative and controlling. I think it will ruin this phase in my life.
And finally, I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that this is the first time in years when I've been on prozac properly. It is night and day.
I hope I don't sound like I'm gloating, but man - I wish I could share some positive energy with people. Because it really does feel fantastic.