Friday, September 25, 2015

Give Me Strength

I am disgusting - honestly, my body, my face, my skin, my mind. I am disgusting. I'm packing to go to Cape Town and I am too fat for most of my clothes. Well, I'm 40 hours into a fast and want to make it till my meal on the plane tomorrow night. I can do this, but I also do need to eat that melon in my fridge or it will go off. So maybe I'll eat that tomorrow before I leave for the airport, I will have to lug a huge bag across London so actually, maybe the calories will be good for strength. It's 200 calories for the whole thing... so ja. It should be fine. Fasting for two days, give me strength to make it through the next 8 hours. 

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Another Fast

By some miracle, I have managed another fast day... although maybe that's not fair to say because I have had enough tea to sink the Titanic and there are calories in milk. But let's say that I've had 200 cals and no "food" today, so that's a win I think. Tomorrow, I plan to still not have anything besides coffee and tea, and then Saturday I will eat the melon that is in my fridge. 

So, in other news, I'm going on a jolly to Cape Town on Saturday for two weeks - I'm going to run wild for a few days back in my old hood and not gonna lie, I'm really looking forward to being back on my old stomping ground. STOKED! 

I'm still feeling fucked up and down, but I think this is still good news for now. Going to go to that festival that I had desperately wanted to lose weight for all those years ago. With my psycho-ex. I really hope that I don't see him when I'm there... It's gonna be great though. I'm stoked to get away. 

Wish me luck?

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Finally, A Fast

I have finally managed a fucking fast - after how many years of being straight up shit at my condition. A fast is done. Yesterday, I almost went too far by ordering Dominos for lunch which I ate (about 1100) cals and haven't eaten since then. 24 hours. I'm going to try and keep this going until tomorrow morning. I'm excited. 

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Thursday, September 10, 2015

All Of It

So David and I are definitely done. It however hasn't stopped me from drunk crying on the phone to him a few times about how sad I am about it - is it me!? Well, yes okay, so I'm sure this all sounds really familiar. I have now blocked his number on my phone - more for my own safety than his. It is done. 

I went to SW4 last weekend... no. Two weekends ago and met this Australian guy... who I kissed - did I mention this in my last post? Anyway, so I kissed him and then we are meant to be going to Holi Festival in London on Saturday. I don't know if it's actually going to happen and he certainly doesn't want anything to me, but I think I might be on rebound enough to let him be a bit shitty to me. What do I mean? Well... Firstly, I definitely think he is only inviting me because he has no one else to go. Secondly, I think he definitely is only being friendly to me, because he is new to London and wants to access my friend group, because he keeps saying that he really likes them. Thirdly, he was meant to come to the house party the next day and blew me off, then a week later with no word from him, all of a sudden I'm hot and funny, and he wants to see me again. All very suspicious man behaviour. Anyway, I want to just have some fun, no relationships. So he might be the treat, as long as I don't let him hurt or use me. Don't let him get to my friends, etc. 

It is suspicious, isn't it?

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

More & More Excuses

Do you ever feel like your life is just a series of really shitty events? I mean they are all my fault, but I fucking HATE that normal shit doesn't make me happy. I am literally doomed to a life of fucking struggle! I had a lovely boyfriend - he didn't make me happy. I had a decent job - that doesn't make me happy so I quit it and am now hedging my bets on a book that may or may not be successful. (Will you guys buy my book?) I can't sit in an office, I can't be happy with just regular shit, it always has to be crazy or I get bored. And the worst part about it all is that normal people are drawn to the unusual so I pull all these perfectly lovely people into my shitstorm and fuck them over, hurt them, piss them off or just generally act like a fucking arsehole towards them. 

Jesus Christ Piggy, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Love & Hate
Xo Xo