For the last couple of days, Chris and I have been in the Peak District in the Midlands. Which is a hilly area in the middle of England. It has been absolutely wonderful in some ways and just frightening in others. We haven't been fighting, it has all been quite civilised and loving. Whether this is a sign of good things to come, I'm not sure.
The good thing about the trip is that it has been active in the sense that there are a shiton of hills and walking up those equals calories burnt. The bad thing is that there has been regular eating, although not overindulging.
I have decided that I want to be somewhat kinder to myself and not freak out about eating 1200 calories a day, because being that weight loss is a numbers game I will still lose this awful fat, although slower. But still loss.
It's difficult, but I keep repeating to myself that my body is awesome and deserves to be fed beautiful nutritious food. There has been meal skipping and restricting... and obsessive calorie tracking, but one thing at a time right?
I weighed myself for the first time since last Saturday - another big step.
I guess it's one of those 'baby step' things where you just gotta do small things at a time. The yoga of course helps because my body is way more toned than previously, so this weight doesn't look 'as bad' as it has previously. Additionally, going to a yoga class and not being able to keep up because I feel weak or feint is just fucking horrible so it serves as motivation to feed myself during the day and aim for a small meal at night (or no meal).
Today is going to be a good day.