Much Ado About Weightloss

... last night I got a bit drunk on skype with my sister and the Jewish doctor texted me. He was just finishing up with dinner, I was just finishing up drinking... (and eating). ANYWAY, so he came over and stuff happened. Which was awesome. He is awesome. It is all awesome. We barely slept and talked so much. It was amazing. He is amazing. He's so complimentary too. He weighs 78kgs. This morning/afternoon when he left. He tried to hold my hand and has been texting me since he left.

I really like this one. 

Love & Man-Love

Xo Xo

Hi, My Name Is...

So... I've been thinking about this for a while and you all know me as Fat Piggy - my name is actually Keran. So hi, how'd you do? :)

Today, I weighed and it wasn't awful. It was 65.3. Far too much, but again - considering I binged for about a month solidly... longer actually. It's not too bad. I'm confident I can be sub-64 by Tuesday. Today I've had another 700 cal day. I had cereal for breakfast (168), soup for lunch (130) and a veggie burger for dinner (400). We're okay for today.

LOVE IT!!! :) I'm going to crawl into my mother fucken bed and watch some mutha fucken greys anatomy and eat my mutha fucken veggie burger. Then I'm going to look at some MOFO thinspo on skinnyvscurvy AND THEN I'm going to imagine that I look like Emma Stone.

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

Fuggit.

So I still haven't weighed myself... I have been toying with the idea of only weighing myself once a week - not because I am becoming any less obsessive, but I seem to think that maybe if I do that then I will be more responsible across a longer period of time. So if I want to binge, my thinking is that I will cut it short because I can fuck up a whole week like that. I'm not actually, like. legit sure it will work at all. But I kinda think it's worth a try. Have any of you out there tried it - did it work/help/hurt? 

Anyway, so yesterday wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. I went on that date with the Jewish doctor. He's really, really nice and a total gentleman. He didn't try to get handsy or nothing. Although I did act like a TOTAL FUCKING SPAZ when we were saying goodbye. Like I waved and ran to the opposite platform. Really, Piggy - REALLY!? 

Anyway, so intake for yesterday was special K with almond milk for breakfast - 160, soup - 140, about half a bottle of white wine (300), two whiskeys (100) and two shots of tequila (200) - then I got bad when I got home and ate a bunch of chips, so about... 600? So that's about 1400 for the day. Not great. 

I still didn't weigh this morning... I'm going to weigh on Monday I think... Sunday maybe. You know what - SOD IT! I'll weigh tomorrow, I at least need to know where I'm starting right?

Today was better - I had cereal (170), soup (140) and pasta (400 - probably less). So today was a decent 710 and I'm happy with that, I mean I can get it lower, but for now, I am eating three meals a day which really helps with the binging I think.

The about the doctor, his name is David. The thing about David is that he keeps going on about how pretty and awesome I am. He called me hot - like can you even!? I think he's lying. 

Peace & Love

Xo Xo

Such A Little Bit Of Pasta...

Wow, so I've been gone for a fucking age and a half. Mostly because I haven't been able to stop eating even when I haven't been high. So the short of it is that yet again, I have undone all of the good work I did before Cape Town. Although, surprisingly, I don't think I look too fat - BUT I definitely am. There is no way that one person could binge as much as I did in the past three weeks and not gain. To give you an idea - there was one day that I ordered take-out. Three times. In one day. THREE TIMES. Hello bulimia - how are you? Shit its been a long time since I binged like that. Anyway, I'm back. Back to ana. She never let's go for too long. But I think I'm done with eating. I feel like I don't want to eat anymore, like I'm not enjoying it. I hate food. I just hate it. Anyway, so I'm too terrified to weigh myself. I am going to give myself another day of low-cal eating before I weigh. I don't want to have a heart attack after all. SO today my intake was under 600 definitely. I had cereal with almond milk (200?) and pasta (350ish). I also had a sugarfree monster and loads of black coffee.. It's ALLLLL good. Anyway, I hope that it is okay. 

In other news, I've got a hot date with a Jewish doctor tomorrow. I really don't want to fuck it up, because his dad has a plane, so a) he's loaded and comes from a really good family. BONUS. And b) (more importantly) he is a really nice person, we've got tons in common and he's super easy to talk to. Although, let's just see. I know this is one of those dream-boat men, so I don't want to screw it up. ANYWAY. I may cancel with him, but I shall see... maybe. I do think that I need to learn how to be around people again before I get stuck in my ways, die alone and get eaten by my cats. Ever hopeful... I'm so hopeful. 

Peaceful & Optimistic

Xo Xo

Wow, I Just Turned A Corner

I just had this moment of true awesomeness and I thought I'd share. So as you all know, I've been speaking to my dirtybag ex, Roy. It's been about two months now that we'd been speaking, but we fight. All the time. And I was having this thought tonight about reasons why I am dragging my heels on moving flat soon, like. I really, REALLY don't want to. Anyway, so I thought, mmm... why don't I phone Roy and tell him this awesome thought I had. Sitting here about to watch Archer after a couple of bongs, I was like. Nope, I don't feel like fighting or getting pissed off anymore. Like, I want to talk to him - but I couldn't be arsed. IN OTHER WORDS IF THIS IS NOT YET CLEAR: I am bored with - OH MY GOD, I just accidentally kicked Gremlin off the bed, LOLZ *sorry Gremmie!!* - him. Sorry - so I am bored with him. Awesome. *fist-bumps* and *sci-5's* all round. 

Thank-You & Goodnight

Xo Xo