Thursday, October 22, 2015

A Cluster Fuck

Which is a reference to my 'love life' - my life - my life which involves romance men. So first let me talk about Colbey - the Australian. We met up last week Monday and I'm really smitten, but then I saw him two days ago and I realised that he is pretty and dumb. As in, he is not as smart as I am and that makes me sad. He's not smart at all. He has no interest in the things I'm interested in and despite the fact that he's got a masters degree and is a reasonably awesome physiotherapist, he is kinda dumb as rocks. But he's also really into me. And like... he has this emotional sex thing... he got all turned on because I was giving him soft kisses on his nose. *I CAN'T FUCKING EVEN* Anyway, so it makes me wonder if we have it all wrong. Like - do we have to find a man who makes us completely happy or have the middle-aged men with sports cars and trophy wives had it right the whole time. In a world of highflying professionals - should I get a hot, dumb husband and then enjoy my friends and the money that I make. Anyway, so I've decided to try and challenge myself and marry Colbey (am I psycho? It feels like a psycho idea, but like why not?). 

But then it gets more complicated. On Friday, I got well drunk with a friend and ended up shagging him - like BDSM stuff - never done it before, it was weirdly hot. But yeah - WHY DID YOU DO THAT PIGGY??? WHYYYYYYY? 

It gets worse... 

On Saturday, David came round and we shagged too. It was sad stuff and we've been hooking up since then. We know there is no getting back together, but it's ongoing. 

I'm fat. I'm slutty. I'm a pig. 

Cals today: 200 (breakfast), 440 (dinner), 150 (latte), 50 (hot choc) = 840 for the day. 

Stupidity & Shame
Xo Xo


Katie Elizabeth said...

Oh Piggy, I've missed reading your posts. Your intake still looks as lovely as it did last time I stalked your blog ;) I hope all is well and we can catch up. Lots of love.
XOXO Katie

désespérée de maigrir said...

I don't have much to add except a bit of humor... I had a dream last night that we were roommates?! Not sure why I was living in London, but we were having a grand old time (we I assume we would in reality).

Chin up.

Even when it seems ridiculous and hopeless (on the romantic battlefield) I always remind myself that somehow there is someone for everyone. Which in itself is sort of crazy, but encouraging... In that lots of pretty awful people manage to find mates, right? And since you're not awful and actually really awesome, your chances must be better!