Tomorrow is going to mine and Colbey's first outing since we started hanging out - now please note: We are not dating. We are not seeing each other. We are not a couple. But like... urgggggh. So we are going to watch the rugby world cup final (NZ vs AU - he is Australian...) and his friend Nath is coming with. Now... My friend Monika is coming with and her and Nath have kinda been... sold on each other for a hook up - you know what I mean, when one tries to play cupid? Well yeah so basically, that is the situation. Now, I'm absolutely shitting it for a number of reasons:
- It will be couply, I don't want couply - COUPLY MAKES ME WANT TO CLIMB UNDER A TABLE AND DIE!
- What if Monika and Nath do end up hooking up... Does that make Colbey and I the old married couple of the vibe?? Again, you know what I mean.
- What if Colbey goes off and finds another girl to hit on. Not only will I be dying of embarrassment and shame, because obviously I'm fat as shit at the moment and therefore entirely unattractive (my chins have chins) and obviously there will be younger, prettier and certainly skinnier and sluttier than me - HOW DO I REACT? Do I play it cool like I don't care and then stop speaking to him or go psycho? Like - it's just not a situation I want to be in.
- Colbey and Nath are 100% not going to be dressing up. And Monika and I are definitely dressing up. It's gonna be weird. I don't want to look weird. I just want him to think I'm hot and cool.
- What if I go Keran-mode drunk - what if he goes Colbey-mode drunk? What if we just do mesh together when we are both on form.
Jesus. It's too much for me. I wish I hadn't invited him. I just want to nap.
Calories today are roughly 500. No loss, because I fucked up yesterday, got stoned and ate Chinese. I'm hoping for something decent tomorrow.
Le Sigh & Le Moan