Wednesday, October 26, 2016

The Patriarchy Will Fall

News, news, news. There isn't much to be fair. I'm down to 64.1kg - that's excellent news. As I mentioned, I felt so damn fat in Morocco, it's amazing what a couple days of restricting can do. So I'm a few weeks, I can definitely be down to sub-62. It's a never-ending cycle I know. I want to be sub-60, but let's see. Not obsessing. Chilling and not starving. Been aiming for around 1000 cals a day. 

There isn't really much else going on right now, nothing of significance. The old lady who took my family cat, Mau has decided he's too much work for her so wants to give him back. She's an asshole, but the silver lining is that at least she's contacted me first. But now, I'm not sure if she's changed her mind or died - she's stopped replying to messages about me fetching him. I'm not sure what to do. She doesn't seem to understand that he needs to be played with or yes, he will be destructive - cats aren't ornamental. Well, my cats are - he's not. 

This situation has kicked up a whole family argument, because none of my family are even bothering to help me beyond trying to find a shelter for him - I'm sorry, but my cat is NOT going to a shelter. So that's stressful. 

Work is also hella stressful, but it's all chilled. 

There is a beautiful 22 year old American who I met in Morocco, who is all up in this, but he's way too young. It's a nice distraction, but it literally is like a generational difference - very young and naive. 

I'm meant to be having dinner tomorrow with some guy I met in New York, who is visiting London. He thought I worked in the fashion industry though and obviously is a perpetuator of the patriarchy, if those are the kinds of girls he's into (please note - I don't care if you're into the reinforcement of the patriarchy, I don't go on dates with these types) - so I might cancel. 

On the patriarchy note, I have decided that I need to detox my life from all of the things that reinforce this. One of these things is to stop concerning myself with what I wear - looking pretty and feminine. I'll do butch as much as I damn please. I've also decided to stop watching vapid celebrity reality tv - Kanye West's wife is who I mean. No more philosophical oppression from America and holiday. I'm sure most of you don't really get what I mean here, but understand that our society is built on patriarchal expectation and how this affects our identity as women. It's a whole thing. And I really believe it. I don't entirely live my life without a patriarchal influence, but I want to be as aware of this as I can be. FUCK THE PATRIARCHY! 

London has gotten a bit cold and winter is on it's way. I love this time of year as the city gears up for Christmas... for those who haven't been here, Christmas time is magical in London. I can't wait. (But then the gloom and doom of January/February sets in and the cheer goes tits up.) 

Cats & Happiness 
Xo Xo

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