I guess I should feel grateful that he came to his senses so quickly. It only took him two days. He called, he said he understood and that he'd try. He said he was scared of getting hurt. He said he didn't know what the future would hold. He said all the things I needed him too. People who still read this must be oh-so-sick of my constant man drama. To be fair though, I do think it's a once a year kind of occurrence - when I meet someone who I want to keep. The last one was Colbey and that was a year ago now. Colbey... who still follows me on Instagram. Check these apples, bitch. Anyway, I was never that into him I guess. So it's actually alright. I did love his body though.
Anyway, so Chris is in the mountains climbing now until the end of the month, so it will have been a full month since I saw him last. Added to the fact that the weekend he is planning on being here, is my little sisters birthday. Her 21st. In South Africa, we make a big deal of that birthday. So I have to go to that and I want to, but it makes me sad that it might mean I won't see him that weekend. Anyway, blah blah girl goo.
I didn't go to work on Friday, because I was too anxious. The anxiety is ruling my life at the moment and I need to get back on meds. I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow to sort that out. It's time.
I've been eating badly for a whole week, I need to get back on track. I've had two good days this week. Two out of seven. Not great stats. I am too scared to weigh myself. I had a fine day yesterday and today should also be alright, so I will weigh tomorrow morning and hope for the best.
I'm going to write another post about my anxiety tomorrow. Cuz this shit needs talking about.
Peace & Love
Xo Xo
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