You know, David - my Jewish doctor ex? He texted me yesterday. Saying that he missed me and blah blah blah. And you know when at first you think - awwwww, what a sweetheart and then the story starts to unravel and through the flames you see the heaping great pile of dogshit that was the reason you broke up in the first place.
Anyway, so he started off telling me that and then that his girlfriend is in the process of dumping him and poor little old him. I genuinely don't feel anything about the man anymore, so I didn't really care. I was trying to be comforting.
Then it went to a weird place where he was telling me that I was better in bed than she is, that my boobs and ass are so great and that ultimately, he just wished that he had one more night with me. (Insert Piggy's reaction: I would sooner set my vagina on fire than sleep with him again. It was awful then, it's probably still awful and I will never sex that man ever again.)
He then sends me a screenshot in which he had "accidentally" sent her the messages meant for me - one of which said along the lines of: She met with her ex cuz he was hassling her and now she's confused about him. I mean 2 and 2. (I.e. implying that he's confused about me.) (LIES!) (Obviously.)
He tells me what an ass she is and that she's not that great. I tell him that he deserves a wonderful woman and not to get down on himself, because she's out there - that he just has to wait for her. The patriarchy. Oh. My. God. The patriarchy.
Anyway, I then didn't hear from him for a little while and then he texted to say that she confessed to cheating on him twice and that he was devastated. Then I didn't hear from him for another couple of hours and then he said he was so upset that he had been sick. Ok. Then that he had cried his eyes out, but at least she had confessed.
AND THEN, the nasty little fucker said that he was devastated - that they had been seeing each other for nine months (and not four as he had originally told me) - I am inclined to believe this is a lie, because he had come to stay at mine that night in August or something. Anyway, whatever.
THEN he said that she was like myself and Roy.
End of conversation. So basically, one of two things. Either, his whole I miss you bullshit was just trying to get my to sleep with him or in some way to get his own back over this situation with her - which is fucking cruel because he knows I care about him and want to be supportive and friends. OR he's lying about it to make it sound more serious to illicit some reaction out of me.
Either way, fuck that. The thing that has always annoyed me about David was that he always tried to play these little emotional mindgames with me, but he's never been good enough to pull it off without me figuring it out.
I told him to go fuck himself. Sweet baby Jesus, it made me realise how glad I am that he's not in my life. I don't even think I want to be friends with him. I have too much life to get done to even bother with that shit.
Over & Out