I shall spare you all the description of my smitten behaviour over Dr Dave, although as pathetic as it sounds, it occupies my mind all the time. I'm sure the novelty will wear off once he fucks me over and I'm back to square one. It is funny how romance is completely consuming, but also really motivating. I told him about my ED. Which was a bit comical, because he's on rotation in the psych ward at the moment... or whatever the other word he used for it was. And was like yeah, we were learning about personality disorder - check. I've got one of those. Anxiety disorders - yep, got that too. And then he said eating disorders and I was like. Piss it. I'm actually just gonna put this out there. I'm so sick of hiding who I am from people. MOTHER FUCKERS, I'VE GOT AN EATING DISORDER - DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? COME AT ME, BRO!? He said he doesn't care... I suppose the good thing about him being a doctor is that he doesn't quite have the same knee-jerk reaction that everyone else has, which is - you are a fucking weirdo. Just eat something. STOP being so difficult and just eat.
Anyway, I weighed this morning. It wasn't a good number, so I shan't share. Tomorrow I will, I promise. I have had a similar intake to yesterday - around 700 - 800. Diet coke, cereal, soup and a small portion of pasta for dinner. I must say. I have learnt that eating breakfast and lunch is really awesome. I don't mind having a small dinner now ... or rather. Not binging at dinner, because I know I just have to wait till 9am and then I can have another small meal. Of course, my breakfast and lunch are the size of a normal snack.
I watch the fat bitch that sits across from me scoff down her food. Her three cheese omlettes with fries and enough mayonaise to sink a small ship and I giggle. She's such a fat bitch with her ass sticking out like Kim Kardashian and her belly hanging over her jeans. Her fat legs, her fat arms. She is so disgusting. And you know what? It's karma, bitch! Because shes a shitty person too. She is a know-it-all gossiping, rude bitch. You are what you eat whore - and you are disgusting. It's no wonder that no one in the office likes her and all talk about her behind her back... like I'm doing right now. Anyway, she eats a lot. And she's a dumb whore.
I forgot where I was going with this.
Peace & Love
Xo Xo
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