Tuesday, October 28, 2014

And I'm Back (AND SINGLE!)

Sorry for the overly long absence. The travelling has been really instance and at the end of it all, I am now fucking exhausted. So let me start at the beginning. David and I broke up. It was really awful and he cried like a little girl. I ended up faking being upset about it and then used that as more of an excuse to cut him out of my life - I blocked him on facebook, whatsapp and on my phone. I have been so much happier since we broke up, not having this weight on my shoulders... him just annoying me and bringing me down all the time, since he seemed to have a talent for bringing out the worst in me! Wait... hang on. That was after Atlantic City and before I went to South Africa (which I got back from on Saturday). ANYWAY, so. Then on Friday after David left (I was already drunk, I was downing vodka to make David crying seem less appalling than it was, but no jokes folks - men sobbing like little school girls is INTENSE!), so anyway, I texted Lukasz (who is this friend of mine that I kinda know through Monika and who was that guy that randomly showed up at my house a few weeks ago, when I was all like - this dude has a crush on me and then Monika said he didn't!) to ask him if he wanted to drink like students. He told me he was in Poland and then I took the liberty of asking him if he liked me... Like FOR FUCK SAKES PIGGY!? Why do you have to go straight there!? ANYWAY, so now the cats out of the bag. Of course a few days later I got on a plane to go to South Africa.

Before I did however, I made the dumb fucking mistake of telling Monika, or rather showing her the texts from Lukasz. Now Monika and Lukasz are really good friends. They even boned a few once, although apparently he stopped it half way through and then told me a few weeks ago, it was because he values her too much as a friend. I mean basically, he's just the nicest guy in the world. ANYWAY - so Monika kicked off because he didn't tell her and that he lied and blah blah blah and basically created the world's HUGEST FUCKING DRAMA out of nothing. In a weird way, I know what she means, because a few years ago this actually happened with Monika where I was boning this guy Ben, and then they started dating. Payback's a BITCH, mother fucker! So now that is all sorted out and he fetched me from the airport on Saturday. Then we went for the longest breakfast and just sat and chatted for ages. Now hear me when I tell you this, he reminds me of Roy. We get along the same way Roy and I do... OMG.

BUT THEN! Drama strikes! At breakfast on Saturday, we made tentative plans that he would make Monika and I dinner - but then didn't get back to me about it after I told him Monika had refused not wanting to the third wheel (like, fair e-fucking-nough!). So basically at 8pm on Saturday, I had decided FUCK HIM and went out on the piss with Monika which ended up being all kinds of fun. Then on Sunday, nothing. Not a word from him. He texted Monika, but not me... and then my borderline moment kicked in and I basically went a little bit apeshit on him.

As it transpired, he had got embarrassingly drunk at his bosses place watching the football and had left his phone at his house. He sent me a fb message at 10pm and then to my horror, read my whatsapp the next morning when his phone got returned. To. My. Horror. Because then he got to see what a fucking psycho I was. I was ADAMANT that I wasn't interested in him and that it is better this way, because anyone remotely the same as Roy can only be a disaster. Then I apologised for being a psycho and HE APOLOGISED for (not) ignoring me. Like WTF IS GOING ON!? I acted like a psychotic bitch and he's apologising to me!? WTF?!
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So basically, long story short... I have been single for a week and a half... and I already have a crush. Who likes me as much as I like him. We are going to a party together on Friday for Halloween, which I am going as Dead Riding Hood. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY it will be amazing! Hopefully, I'll get a kiss. I'm not ready to jump into bed with him yet... mostly because I am nauseatingly fat and disgusting. Restricting hard girls, restricting hard. He is as MANOREXIC as Roy was, so I've got tons of motivation to get back down to 60. Everytime I see myself in the mirror, I keep reminding myself that it will take months and I need to work hard everyday and not give up - because getting down to 60 will take at least another 4 months. 4 months. 4 months.

So that's my little story. I've had 800 cals today. It's okay.

Peace & Crush Songs
Xo Xo

2 comments:

Calla Lily said...

I hope your new crush works out! I need to get myself in shape for my guy... Although he does like me as I am currently. I want to improve myself thought, especially with how fit he is. Keep us updated!

Roxie Rice said...

Welcome back, piggy! I hope you get with the guy and get your kiss ;)I'm rooting for ya!