Wednesday, October 15, 2014

iForget

This is going to sound so fucked up - but I have really missed the joy that comes out of restricting. I had such a huge rant a few weeks ago about how sick I was of binging and starving and weighing and failing. BUTTTT, the past few days I've been restricting and it's felt really good. I am still not weighing... I haven't weighed in absolute weeks, but my clothes still feel good. I dunno... I know it takes about two or three weeks to stop thinking about food as much... or how missing meals stops being a big deal. So yeah, relearning some good bad behaviours. 

Today I had soup (210), veggie sausages (200), avocado salad (110), coffee/tea and hot choc (200), so 720 for the day - I can live with that. :)

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

5 comments:

Eloise Jung said...

I used to love having around 750 a day, it was enough to not pass out and function but small enough to feel in control and lose. I'm stuck in the b/p starve try fail cycle, desperate to break free and start restricting a bit more before I go psycho from the stress, so i'm rooting for you xxxxx

Kay said...

Unfortunately I share your love of restricting. Except I don't fuss too much about calories as I just HATE, ABSOLUTELY HATE the feeling of being full! I will only eat a little bit at a time because I hate the feeling of food in my stomach, I think it feels so good to be really hungry. Sounds fucked up, right?

Trying to get rid of the love for that feeling, but it's difficult when it makes you feel so calm and good.

<3
Kay

LeeTiger28 said...

I understand the addiction of restricting too, sadly. That's how it always goes, isn't it? We swear we're done, and then we go right back. *sigh* well, regardless, keep your head up!
<3 Lee

Bella said...

I'm sure it wouldn't be so addictive if it didn't make us feel so good in one way or another. It's so good but so bad.
You'll get there. You've done it before, you can do it again. We're cheering you on the whole way!

xxBella

Calla Lily said...

Oh the danger of addictive behaviour! I'm working really hard right now to cut out all purge activity and all self-harm. It has been driving me up the wall with anxiety and nervous break downs... even crying as I tried to stay out of the bathroom. Restricting feels so much more in control to me. I'm giving myself two weeks to regularize and try to successfully get past purging (self harm is less of an issue), then I'll check out restricting :) It is such a wonderful feeling, though, to be in control. Good luck!