I can't seem to get my sleeping patterns in a place where they make fucking sense. I'm so fucking irritated. I will sleep normal sleeping hours and then be fucking exhausted and sleep through the whole day. Then, I'll be awake all night, rinse repeat. It's fucking annoying. And I don't have the encouragement to go to sleep, because I'll just chat to Colbey all night. This needs to stop.
The benefit of this is that I have been eating almost perfectly (below 1000) and clean. So I have no idea what I am weighing, because I'll only get a scale in like a week and a half. So I just have to make sure that I stay on track until then.
I worked out that my BMR (base metabolic rate) is current 1499 calories a day so if I make sure that I'm under 1000 that (they say) 1lb a week, which is fucking rubbish, but it does mean that I'll be at my goal in a few short months.
I just need to not fuck up. Colbey is home tomorrow. I need to ask him about his ex girlfriend... the whole not-knowing thing is driving me fucking mental. Because, I don't want him to not be friends with, I want to be friends with her. Well, not really. But I have a sneaking suspicion that they broke up because he moved here, in which case unresolved feelings and shit. BLAH! Who knows. I just want to know... And I do trust him, I'm sure he isn't telling me because he doesn't want me to get jealous or upset, but not telling me is SO much worse.
SAM LUPIN - WELCOME BACK BABE, we missed you. I missed you.
Peace & Love