HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Okay, okay... I'm a week late. I know, I know. 2016 had a bit of a rough start for me. It all started when I didn't get paid for a contract that I finished in November - this was meant to be done. Basically, it meant that I was broke ass over Christmas and New Years, and was so anxiety ridden over the fact that I wasn't going to be able to pay my rent that I spent about eight days drunk as fuck. Now, I mean drunk AS FUCK. On New Year's Eve, I slagged off my plans and stayed at home and drank a bottle of vodka and blacked out. I have no idea what happened, but apparently I chilled at my neighbour for a bit, called my other neighbour 'creepy' (he is still freaking out about this, but that is a whole other tangent in and of itself) and drunk dialled EVERYONE in my phonebook - really, really embarrassing, not to mention calling Colbey (and this isn't a joke) 54 times. I can't even.
Anyway, so I wasn't able to get hold of the company until work started on the 4th to find out if they were going to pay the invoice, but luckily they are, there was just a mix up with things and I will be paid on the 19th and won't get evicted.
Now, what also happened was that Colbey and I have been chatting - a LOT - casting our minds back, my super handsome, lovely amazing fella is in Australia on holiday visiting his family. I didn't hear from him much at all until he got to his parents house in Middle-of-Nowhere'sVille, Australia. We literally chatted for hours and hours for about a week - more than we have ever chatted really before, at least on text - I was under the impression that he wasn't a texter and I actually still don't think he is, but he's doing it for me. And basically, all was really well. I'm still super in love with him. I kinda had a slight meltdown with him, because he was going on party adventures around the bottom right of Australia and I said to him that he didn't owe me anything and that he should have fun - hook up with other people is what I was getting at. He didn't really say he wasn't going to - I know he's not like that, but I genuinely did mean it. I just would rather adjust my expectations rather than get my hopes up about this being something that it's not and then be disappointed (HELLO ROY, YOU SLIMY BASTARD!).
Anyway, so we started having this conversation and then I got all freaked out and stopped the convo. Typically, Piggy. FUCKING TYPICAL! I can have little emotional outbursts, but I can't actually have a mature conversation about anything. And then I barely heard from him for days, because he was travelling around (as it turns out, with his parents) - he did however spend New Years Eve with his ex girlfriend watching the fireworks in Sydney (did you guys see the videos on facebook - yeah, that's where he was). He was straight up when we first started dating that he was friends with his ex, and to be honest I'm not jealous. I know if he says that he won't do anything that he won't. It's just that if something does happen, it will all fall down like it did before (ROY, YOU BASTARD!). So all in all, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
Being super hungover, ashamed and convinced that I was going to let Man-Of-My-Dreams V2.0 slip straight through my pudgy fingers, because I'm irresponsible and just not good enough generally - I committed myself to making 2016 the year of Piggy! *strong arms*
I also didn't act like a fucking idiot when Colbey did get back on wifi and started obsessively texting me again - normally, I might act like a needy, petulant, stroppy child needing reassurance - now, it's not Colbey - he is perfect and lovely, and he tells me - despite the fact that we have only been very casually dating for four months - that he loves me and he's stupidly attracted to me, etc etc. I don't want to go on too much about this, because it's kinda embarrassing and sickening how cutesy he can be. BUT - it's not him. It's that I have massive abandonment and trust issues.
Also, I completely underestimated him - he is from a really good family, who are not bogans - despite what I thought - well-off, down to earth people. He isn't pretentious and he's adult. He is exceptionally intelligent and I totally thought he was a dullard. And most of all he has a really great sense of humour. And the thing is, I want to be the kind of person who would deserve to be with someone like that. Now this isn't a codependent, he's too good for me kinda thing. It's literally that I want him or someone like him to be proud of me. I want to put in the effort.
SO a very long story short - this is going to be the year of Piggy - step 1, lose some fucking weight. My scale conveniently broke, so I have no idea how much I weigh, but by god, I'm gonna lose tons and when I get paid - new scale time. I'm also going to start being financially more responsible - i.e. save some fucking money. I'm going to stick with this new job that I'm starting in Feb until I get my British passport - no matter how shit it is. 2 years and 3 months. That's how long I'm staying.
I'm going to abroad at least once a month, with Colbey hopefully. European probably, but I'm travelling this year. I'm also going to move out of my tiny flat into a new one. Maybe with Colbey, but if that doesn't happen also fine. I'm not going to fuck things up with Colbey like I did with Roy - moving too fucking quickly.
So yes, my dear long-standing blogger friends - this will be the year of Piggy. World, watch out!
Peace & Love