To Say, To Say

Nothing to say... I'm still trying my damndest to eat clean this week... The problem is however, that I don't actually know what constitutes eating clean. I still have had a couple of cracker breads (24 cal each) and instant weight watchers hot chocolate - I NEED SOME KIND OF SWEET THING IN THIS VEGGIE DIET - and also yoghurt. But is this clean? I dunno. Anyway, I haven't missed a workout yet. I mean, I'm not great with the cardio, but it's only walking which I do at least 30 minutes of in my daily routine, so whether this makes a difference I don't know. I will join a gym at the end of the month, because I need to get ready for High Intensity Interval Training. Which starts towards the end of February. Fun. ANYWAY. 

Work is boring me to tears at the moment, I have been looking around for other jobs. I will however only move if it's the right opportunity. I found a job opening with a trade association, so let's see how that goes. I will of course miss the travelling of my current job. Ya, fuck. Life, hey. 

65 days to Thailand. I weighed myself on Monday after I'd drank a ton of tea and stuff and it wasn't good. I'm going to try not, it's hard though. Everything I know about my progress is linked to the scale. I know that if it's bad though, I'll just binge because I'm not worth it and blah, blah blah. Blahhhh blah. BLAH. Blah. BLAAAAAH. We know how this merry-go-round works. 

Love & ABS! 

Xo Xo

Starting Week 2

So today marks the beginning of week 2 of Kayla Itsines (for those that commented on my post about this a recently, I will send the books tomorrow - things have been a bit busy!) and it's...er... it's going. Last week was fucking miserable - I was in the worst mood in the world. Fat, fat, fat. And yeah, just the worst mood. I definitely netted less than 1000 on every day that I did it and then on Friday and Saturday I went over... way over. No, lies. It was crazy binges, but it was high. Yesterday was fine. Today my intake was around 1100, but I did a lower body and cardio work out. So I'm sure it's below 1000. To be honest, I'm not losing weight. I'm sure though if I just persevere something will eventually happen right? Anyway, I WILL BE POSITIVE!! 

I'm hurting all over. I am irritated that I'm just as fat as I was last week, my belly looks enormous. (MAYBE I'M PREGNANT!! Take a test, Piggy...) Yeah, so. I dunno. The plus side is that I don't feel as miserable as I did last week, the whole like... getting up earlier to make food is getting easier. The working out is made possible courtesy of all the thinspo (fitspo?) on instagram. I WANT TO BE STRONG AND SKINNY. And I'm determined to finish 12 weeks. The goal for this week is clean eating. No cheating. All the way till Sunday. 

I haven't had booze since the 2nd or cigarettes. I will do this. I'm so fat though :( 

Fat & Fat (but somehow, upBEAT!)

Xo Xo

Pig Party

Things in my life have become a little bit upsetting... Really just two things in particular. The first is work - I had a complete mental breakdown at work with my boss on Friday. To be fair, I had fair reason to be upset, not least of which because the MD of the company was asking me questions in this completely pointless meeting that we had (3 of them in fact) and then as soon as I'd open my mouth to answer she'd cut me off and start talking about something else - IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, WHY ASK ME IN THE FIRST PLACE? Anyway, so now I have to go back to work tomorrow and deal with it. I was just too upset on Friday to say anything meaningful about it. YAY fun Monday, fun. Monday.

The second reason I'm totally upset is because my fat friend from CPT has completely given up on Kayla Itsines. We committed to doing this together. She did half of the first workout and hasn't done one since. She did two days of nutrition and at this very minute as we speak, she is sitting in a bar in Cape Town drinking pints of beer and eating beans and rice with deep fried bread. I'm so sick of her bitching about her weight and the fact that she is alone and can't get men, besides the fat, desperate ones because of how she looks. NOT ONLY THAT, but she is a pig party (NOW please excuse me if you don't know what a pig party is, but I was told this by a TWAT OF A MAN a few weeks ago - we all know what it is, but I'll just be the one to tell you - basically at the end of a night, the only girls left in the club are the fat, ugly ones and so you shag them, because all you have left is a pig party - it's awful I know, but this is what I was told). Now, my poor friend is a pig party - she has gone on 5/6 tinder dates, they have all fucked her and all never called her again. Pig party. :( I used to be the pig at the pig party... I know how it goes. Besides the fact that she is in that whole situation, she is also fucking killing herself. She is going to die alone at 35 and I need to accept that I can do absolutely nothing to save her. How tragic. 

Love & Blues

Xo XO

How Can You Tell?

Yeah, so I just finished/am finishing Day 3 of Kayla Itsines... and I have spent the last two days in what can only be described as misery with a side order of agony. To start things off, I discovered that if you skip the snacks on her nutrition program, you will end up with a calorie count of roughly 800 - 1200. Which is obviously excellent considering this is considered a 'healthy' regime. Secondly, her workouts are not for pussys. Let me put it to you thus: I can't walk up stairs, I chose to stand on the tube this morning because sitting down and standing up was too painful, AND I haven't had tea in two days, because it involves bending over for milk = too. fucking. painful. My ass is in bits. Now, I appreciate that this is probably a combination of the MILLIONS of squats that I did and snowboarding on Sunday, but man-oh-man. I'm in pain. I just finished the abs and arms workout. I can't do a push up to save my life. I have a feeling this pain level may go on for a few weeks. *it's only 12 weeks* ANYWAY, so that's 3 days on the trot. I'm hoping I can go for a short run tomorrow morning... well. A short walk. In fact, I don't mind the walking... I quite like it. As long as I have a good playlist. Let's see what time I wake up. I'm planning on weighing on Sunday. And a progress pic every week. 

SO, I sent the ebooks to all that asked. I'm really fucking sorry it took so long, I seem to have forgotten my password so can only access it on my phone. HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING TRIED TO ATTACH A FILE ON AN iPHONE? NO? It's impossible. My friend from South Africa has already bailed on the plan. I'm really mad with her, because we were supposed to do it together. I just want her to succeed, because she is fucking massive (and not ana massive, like proper society massive - my guess about 110kg?) and she's given up and she's either going to have to marry a fattie or die alone. Both as bad as the other. Awful. 

ANYWAY. 

Love & Success to all

Xo Xo

p.s. I should probably mention that my mood has been foul - which I believe to be a sideeffect of the new diet and exercise. I hope it doesn't last, my brain is a sieve. 

Kayla Itsines - Are You In?

When I was waiting for my flight in Dublin airport last week Friday, I stumbled across Kayla Itsines Instagram page... oh. my. god. How have I never heard of this miracle worker before? Then to my amazement and surprise, she had a challenge which started in 3 days... all I needed to do was get the ebooks and commit to 12 weeks of hardcore grafting and according to her blog, I could have the bikini body that I've always wanted. 

So I asked my bestie to join me... she is my overweight friend from Cape Town who I love and adore, but whom I am worried will drop dead of a heart attack at 35. I took to facebook and got 3 more friends involved. So here I am. Instagram kayla_itsines and look at the results for yourself. It's only 12 weeks. 

Now let  me tell you - the diet is super strict and more cals than any of us are used to (I'm going to cut out the snacks to lower the cal count mind you, but do the clean eating in the correct portion sizes) - today I've had 703 cals. 

I also did the first day of the workout, I thought I was going to pass out. I don't have all the equipment. I quit smoking, I am not drinking till after the 12 weeks. Fuck, this will be intense, it's only 12 weeks and I've got nothing to lose. The workout was fucking tough though, let me tell you. 

Drop me an email and I'll send you through the ebooks for Kayla Itsines for free - it's a nutrition guide and the 12 week workout plan. #thekaylamovement is only for 12 weeks, the results speak for themselves and until it doesn't work after I've given it my 100%, I shan't doubt it. 

74 days to Thailand, which means my last week will be in Thailand, but I am determined to give this 100% for 12 weeks. It's only 12 weeks... 

Who's in?

Love & BBG

Xo Xo

p.s. No fucking regrets.