Let me start with the weeeeeeee hours of this morning, while I was trying to fall asleep, I was listening to yet another Steve Jobs interview and it made me think about the way that I am going about my life trying to find a purpose - something that I really love and am passionate about. The kind of business person that I want to be. This ties in with my recent trip to Amsterdam where I was having dinner with two colleagues and we were talking about future ambitions and I said that I have always wanted to start a company. And Naomi asked me what kind? Now, being put on the spot, I didn't want to sound like a listless idiot (which again comes back to Steve Jobs who responded to a 'I want to start a business, but I don't know what' question by saying that you need to get a job as a janitor and find something you're passionate about) and so I answered with my gut. I have always wanted to be a writer and indeed, this blog - in ALL it's glory, is one thing that I truly love - so I answered that I want to start a content site and eventually evolve that into something self-sustaining with maximum 3/5 employees. Kinda like upworthy.com. Having given myself an honest answer about what I want to try and achieve as a goal, I was lying in bed thinking about whether I would ever actually get around to doing it. And today, I decided that I'm going to start doing exactly that. Step 1 is learning (or rather relearning) java so that I can programme my own website, because unlike my last business venture, I will not rely on a fucking programmer (who in this case was my dickbag ex, Roy) to fuck me over and quash my hopes. SO I started doing that. Today. My goal is to have this website by the end of 2014. I don't know if that is in any way realistic. But I am actually going to try and do this. The goal is to also get great at java again, so that I can maybe programme websites in my spare time. (And yes, I know this sounds ludicrous, but I have already done 3 years of java, so it's more of a refresher, and goddammit I am smart.) So that's my one win. And the best part of it all is that I have you all as my advisory board. So once I've got some better ideas on the whats and the whys, I expect loads of feedback from my beautiful Piglets. :) I'll be 30 in just over 3 years. I don't have time to fuck about anymore.
The second, third and forth win of the day are all interconnected, so I'll do them together. I went to work today and had two coffees with almond milk (24) (OH and Sammy, I am still vegan, the pizza from yesterday was sans cheese), a landslide of black coffee (because as i've discovered, almond milk isn't great in coffee because it sinks to the bottom, half black, half white coffee is an interesting discovery), a pack of pop chips (88 cals) and a diet cherry coke (2). Also, I had planned on going climbing after work, which normally I have to go start from work to the Castle or I won't leave my house again. Except, by the time work ended I was so ravenously hungry that I knew if I went climbing, I'd leave after 20 minutes out of hunger like I did last week. So I decided to come home and make myself a pesto pasta consisting of 2 tbsp of pesto, 1.5 cups of pasta (and a coke zero). I was resolute that I was going climbing. I hate my pasta and absolutely no more than I had promised I would and then you know what? I got my shit and left my flat, and went to the Castle. FYI - my climbing gym is an old castle (only in England, right?) that has been converted into a climbing centre, so you can climb the turrets - which is awesome. I climbed for just over an hour and my hands are covered in blisters, I didn't do that well, but you know what? FUCK IT. I went and now I am ending my day somewhere around 650/700. I'm not sure exactly, because I never trust my measurements when it comes to calories... and then I came home and started refreshing my javascript.
This morning I weighed in at 66.6kgs (the number of the beast), so I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a loss. Any loss will do. I have a favour to ask though. I know I might not be interesting and that I mumble and ramble a lot - maybe I don't talk about my ED as much anymore (because I feel like I've figured it out), but for the next six months, I am gonna need some inspiration from time to time. I need to be 58kgs by March. I need to have started a business in a year. I need to be an EPIC rock climber by October (because I've decided that I want to go climbing in the greek islands :) ). Give us the truth. Call me out.
Peace & Love
Xo Xo
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