Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Status: Porpoise

So my scale is DEFINITELY broken, I weighed at 62.2kg, but honestly I look like a cow. Like I look pregnant, not even joking. Like one of those malnourished African kids with skinny limbs and a big belly. I don't FEEL bloated though even though Mother Nature has kindly delivered my period (thanks, bitch). I don't get it. But nevertheless, there is literally no chance on this earth that I could weigh that, defo a busted scale - and Belle re: your comment, I think I just treat my scales badly. I kick them and move them a lot, drop things on them. I think that's probably why. (Scale abuse?) 

I didn't really eat skinny yesterday either - I had my lunch pasta and more of that for dinner and a beer. With the Italian. We had another mini fight, but fuck it. I'm not gonna lie dudes, I really do like him. He has this look when he's thinking about something, like he's a million miles away and his eyes are just so still. 

I'm still a bit jumpy around him, like waiting for him to see my flaws and run a mile. Whether that's my body or myself the way I am. I'm trying to relax. He was being irritating yesterday and I walked out of his flat - yes I know, real mature Piggy. Anyway, I walked out and got straight on a bus. He literally followed me across Clapham and begged me not to go. I felt like such an ass and he made me promise not to walk away from him again. I feel like such an ass. I couldn't believe he followed me, I was really glad that he did. *why am I so stubborn* 

Something else dreadful happened yesterday, but I won't go into detail... Nothing I write here could ever do justice to this amazing person. All I will say, RIP beautiful moonchild, Mikki. My heart is broken. 

Love & Sadness
Xo Xo 

1 comment:

Sam Lupin said...

bear with me. i wrote this all on my lecture notes slide as i’m supposed to be studying but i can’t will myself to and this is a long, LONG comment. hopefully, i’ve not said anything offensive and if i did, i genuinely didn’t mean to!

in regards to your other posts:
i’m surprised that harrassment would be a problem for any Arab country. that’s so strange since everyone i know is very respectful but you did mention wearing a headscarf to make yourself blend in more and i suppose that that is another reason. i do wear one and i am an Arab, so i suppose they already know that i’m part of the culture and wouldn’t engage in their interests anyway, or that i would get the whole country involved and ruin their life. hmm. cultures and semantics, aye?

“My Cairo family kept shoving cakes into my face and if I tried to say no, they'd say "please" and so of course, I had it.” mate, i know how you feel. and also, just generally speaking, if i saw a girl that is as tall as you with tattoos, i’d do a bit of a stare. just saying. i had a girl here that had very Arabic features but had a shoulder tattoo. i couldn’t stop staring at it. it’s just not the norm here. funny enough, one of my uncles actually *does* have a tattoo, so this makes it even weirder that i’d find it weird enough to stare, but c’est la vie, aye?

oh, koshari in Egypt is a MUST. i hope you’ve had some. it’s one of my favourite Arabic dishes and of course, the Egyptians are very good at it. and yes, we do consume a tonne of starch but along with lunches, we tend to have a cucumber/carrot/tomato salad here. i think everywhere i go in this region, it’s a very common salad. plus, spinach. i normally do spinach + salad + protein and that does me in, but then again, you’re not someone that’s already had the starchy dishes a thousand times so i see how bad of a predicament you might be in. they probably want to stuff you full of as much delicious Egyptian food as possible.

“When you read those articles about Islam being oppressive, I feel like that couldn't be further from the truth regarding Egyptian women specifically.” YES. it is true. in Saudi Arabia, the tides shift. it’s abnormally strict there (it is an hour drive from where i live). children here do, but it’s not a big deal to the children. it depends on the age of the child though. a lot of families make children wear them if they’ve hit puberty, but this is a crap way of getting them to wear it since the second they’ve left their parents sight, they take it off.

the father reminds of my parents. they are always like that with strangers! also, that’s strange that the Emirates was not as forthcoming.

“and endless (and I mean endless) pictures being taken” oh God. i know what this is. did anyone pull out Snapchat and insist you pose with them?

omg you can’t belly dance? you can’t shake your hip a few times in and out just to pretend that you know how to dance? is there any legendary yells of appreciation as you did this? *checks your Ig* oh my, someone is a skinny mini. ;) you look brilliant and you are very slight. just saying.

i love how curt you are with your men. a woman after my own heart.

this post:

and just to say, i like that you’re stubborn. and hey, if he likes you, then he’d love your flaws. i find it that way with people. if i really like them, then i find their worst flaws actually endearing.

i’m so sorry that you had to suffer a loss and i don’t think i can write much about it either. it is never easy to cope with a loss, and i’m just hoping that it gets easier down the line. i love you sweetheart and i just hope that you’re able to feel more normal about it soon. it’s so hard to come to terms with someone that was once there but isn’t anymore. i wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

you’re in my thoughts xxx

-George DiCaprio/Sam Lupin