Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Blurg.

Blurg, today, Blurg. I love my job, I hate 90% of the people in the office. I am the weird one. The one that doesn't fit it. It is like highschool all over again. I'm going to give it till the end of my probation and see if they give me a raise and if not, I might leave. I can't feel like this forever. Like a freak. Highschool was awful. I don't want to go back. I had training all day, it is freezing cold, I'm broke. I'm being forced to go out for Christmas at a friends. I just don't want to be alive right now. And on top of all of it, I just want to eat and eat and eat. And I can't. My favourite streaming website has been shut down, so now I don't know which of my series I've caught up on and what I haven't. I've had a coke zero, a diet coke cherry, snack a jacks (88), pom bears (95) and more pesto pasta (about 550). So my total for the day is somewhere around 750. I'd say. I do however plan to have an almond milk hot chocolate (50) before bed, so that will be around 800 for the day. I did manage to lose 0.9kg this morning, so I'm now down to 65.7. Which makes me happy. I'd like to have another loss tomorrow, which let me tell you is the ONLY reason I'm not Piggy-ing out right now. Fuck my life. 

Pesto & Spaghetti
Xo Xo

1 comment:

désespérée de maigrir said...

DEEEEEEEP BREATH!

Please don't forget that you are awesome and talented and badass and perhaps the reason you're not fitting in at work is because of all of that. Is it really bad enough to quit right already? Obviously if it is excruciating, by all means… but you really like the work right? I say keep your eye on the prize (i.e. your actual work that you like) and search for other opportunities and self-improvement projects in the meantime. I think the ideas you laid out about starting a website are great and may be able to fulfill you in such a way that you can handle the shit parts of your job while you're hoping to move along to something better.

Oh, and don't forget, you're climbing, and you love climbing!

Please don't forget how beautiful you are, all around.

Also, my new coworkers are weird as shiiiiiiiit, but fortunately I am sequestered in the basement and can avoid the worst offenders for the most part. And I have two colleagues that make it bearable - which reminds me, is there not even one ally in your office on which you can depend?