Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Peanut Fucking Butter

So this morning I was still fat, even though I had about 800 calories yesterday. I can't seem to fucking understand what the fucking problem is and why I'm not losing weight. If anything I am gaining goddamn weight everyday. I've never been on a plateau like this in my life before. It really just doesn't make sense to me. I'm not binging I'm not fucking going apeshit, yet I'm still a hurtling ball of fat walking around looking like a hippo. WHY WHY WHY!? 

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow and I can't wait to get some drugs. I'm going to make sure that I get some Ambien, because I still can't sleep properly and I'm tired of being sleepy, although I'd really like to trip out as well. I miss taking hallucinogenics... I think I need to find some illegal substances, I feel like I miss them so much sometimes. But proper narcotics, not just cabbage. Man, I miss it. Anyway, shut up Piggy - focus on getting thin, not getting high. GODDAMMIT! Fuck my fat life. I'm just doomed to be fat. That's what life is going to have in store for me, fat fat fat. I hate this shit. Where's Gremlin - I need to cuddle. 

Kittens & Mittens
Xo Xo

6 comments:

Lena said...

Don't worry, hun. Your body will catch up eventually, it always does. You're doing so well, work-wise, you're right where you've always wanted to be. The rest will come, just give it a little time :)
- Lena xx

Ashley Nichole said...

"Anyway, shut up Piggy - focus on getting thin, not getting high."

I think this is my quote of the day.

Good luck and eventually, I'm sure, your weight loss goals can be achieved.

Judith Marie said...

Wow, that first paragraph, I can relate to in so many ways. I feel exactly like that right now. EXACTLY. And you're right, focus on getting thin, and do that really well. We've both done it before, so we're capable. And if we've done it in the past, then there is no reason why we can't do it now.

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

I AM THE QUEEN OF PLATEAUS LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE
omg the title im just im going to steal this eventually
no i'll steal it for my next post ok
omg dude when you're like 'focus on getting thin, not getting high' i just died on the inside and came back and died again so
ok
hope you'll be able to get some proper fucking sleep soon bb
xo
-Sam Lupin

M Love said...

I used to get plateaus like that all the time and I'd want to wring someone's neck!

I too miss getting high, of course, i'm too old for that now a days.. but man if I never ate on lsd.. for DAYS it was a good thing...

Hope you get some sleep soon, it's a killer I know and I'm thinking that somehow sleep depravation causes weight gain.
I haven't slept in 7 months and I've held weight worse then I have in my life!

It's frustrating.. but there WILL be an end to it all - hang in there!!

lovehurts4ever said...

This is totally me right now!!! Wtf is going on with our bodies?