Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Gratuitous Post About Getting Fat And Men

So first things first, I'm disgusting and fat. I binged on Friday, Saturday and (really badly) on Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today have been alright but not great. I weighed 64.9. I.e. I undid all the good I've done over the past two weeks. I'm a GINORMOS failure. I'm so over being fat. I'm hoping that some of it is just food weight. Today I had a punnet of strawberries (120); a salad (200?); a falafel salad (300 - 500); a latte and chocolate almond milk (300) - gross. Just gross. It was mostly veggies and fruit today, but still. Calories are calories. I'm going to take tomorrow as my 'official' weight, the food has had some time to exit the body. So let's continue. 

Men - Friday, I ended up on a date with the beautiful ginger man with the beard - yeah. I was there for less than an hour and then I left. He farted at the table. DUDES, I'm not fucking joking. He. FARTED. At. The TABLE. What ever happened to respect and good manners? I'm not even upset about it, but then I went home and drank a bottle of jack while on FaceTime with Roy. I'm so angry with myself. I don't want to talk to him. He's like crack to me. Like speaking to him is my fix. I get so happy. I'm not even in love with him - I don't know what it is with me and that man. I swear - he's like a drug to me. I can't even say anymore than that. Roy is my crack. On Satuday however I had a lovely evening of drinking games with some friends, one of whom was the cousin of a friend, a doctor, young, cute - good manners, nice guy. Problem: he lives in Jersey. Mitigating factor: Jersey is really close and he comes here quite a bit. SO, I'm thinking I may just try and hellooooooooo *wink wink nudge nudge* "heyyyyyy" next time he's in town... I feel like talking to Roy has made me want to be more proactive about dating, because I want to have someone else besides being addicted to him. WHAT THE FUCK PIGGY!? Seriously.

Fatness & Fatterness
Xo Xo

2 comments:

Katie Elizabeth said...

Ugh, I can't believe he farted at the table. That's fucking terrible. And I agree, dating would keep you away from Roy. So let's find you a nicer guy, like the cousin ;)
XOXO

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

is that like
a greeting
do you always start posts with "i'm disgusting and fat"
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE SHHHH
okay, you had a punett of strawberries, two salads and latte and almond whatever. that does not sound gross or fat. shhhhhhhh.
ginger men are just
i'm laughing. i'm sorry. when i heard he farted at the table, i started laughing. i'm still twelve and farts are still funny.
Roy should drop off the face of the planet. enough said.
i think you should have someone new to fascinate you. Roy just sucks so


-Sam Lupin