Today, I'm not quite so tired even though I had only 5 hours of sleep last night, so I can probably tell you guys a little bit more about what's going on. So firstly, my weight. I gained FUCKING 0.1kg today so I'm at 62.9kg. I'm PISSED to say the least - and hopefully this means that I will lose a slightly nicer number tomorrow. I mean. WTF. So today, I have had a zero cal energy drink, two coke zero's, an apple (60), cracker crisps (95) and my vegan lasagne (500?), so that's definitely not more than 700 cals for the day. I've been racking my brain to figure out how much this lasagne is worth, but it is SERIOUSLY only veggies. One sheet of pasta per dish and then like... coconut beschamel which is... about 1tsp of vegan butter, 1 tsp of flour and a quarter can of coconut milk - which is less than 200 cals in itself. Anyway, it's a fluke, it's a fluke, it's a fluke.
It has to be.
Now... the shit with my ex. TRUST me when I say this - I am not getting involved emotionally or any other -ally with him ever again. I'm not stupid. I can't be friends with him, I don't want to fall in love with him again. He is a non-possibility to me. I will never be able to go through what I went through with him again. It just ain't gonna happy. Katie, I promise :). I feel so detached from everything that happened with us, to a point where the semblance of love doesn't exist to me with him anymore. I don't want that. I have decided to pursue another man-straction (man distraction, LOLz get it?) - which is that Allan dude from a few weeks back. I don't want to date him, but I'm going to acquiesce to his request for a little casual funsies. I need some man distraction in my life. And since I'm too lazy for anything serious, I can definitely do casual funsies. I am most definitely going to find some romance in my life, even if it is hopelessly not serious.
Work is still killer, but I am making slow, but steady progress. It's. All. Good. Anyway, so like... uh... I don't think I've got much else to say, OH. Except - you know how I'm like completely obsessed with the Biggest Loser (!?) - who the fuck ever thought I'd find my thinspo on there, but the winner of the latest season is underweight at the finish line. Go Google her - her name is Rachel Fredrickson - and just because we are who we are - she is my thinspo for the day at a svelte 105lbs. Go Rachel - from fatty to beautiful - bones and all in 7.5 months. *blows kisses allllllllll the way to wherever-the-fucks-ville-asee that she lives*
Bones & Bitches