Monday, January 16, 2012

One Million Kg's. Fuck.

I binged today. That is pretty much the extent of it. It went well until dinner then I had fish and calamari and chips. Fuck. Sakes. And now I'm going to eat some yoghurt just because I can. I am fat and fucking disgusting. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Always fucking tomorrow. It's disgusting. Ever since I moved into this house, I have been eating like a pig. I am just going to get huge again. FUCK! I can't.

My best friend today told me that I look like this uber skinny friend of ours that looks like an ano child. I was almost flattered except I know she is just jealous cuz I am thin... or concerned. WHATEVER. Anyway, so I know it isn't real what she was saying. God Damn. Anyway.

On Thursday I have a psychiatric evaluation following my hospital stay on referral from the hospital shrink who says I am borderline. Whoopdee do.

Fuck my life.

Fatigue & Fat
Xo Xo


HeatherMB said...

I'm the same way darlin
I do good all day till dinner comes
You can do it!
You're the only one who can control what you do in your life <3
I promise things will get better
Stay strong <3

Rhianna said...

Hope the evaluation goes well love.
You'll be okay =)

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

calamari and fish and chips. that actually sounds delish. i don't know why. but your food choices almost make me want to go meat-eater. xD. i know fish will taste like crap now after practically two years of abstaining.
you haven't even gained a pound yet though, have you?
you know something? when your body reaches a weight that's 'not natural', you do get hungrier by the way. i notice that a lot when i hit the 60kg's. which is why i never stay there for very long. ahahaha. i think if i can just go over that rough patch of my low-weight, i can...i dunno? get back into it? or if i can maintain into that area for months. maybe?
borderline. *sighs* let's hope that goes well!

and you are not fat. if you're fat, then what the hell am i?
-Sam Lupin

Christina said...

I hope everything goes well.