Friday, January 27, 2012

My Scale is Lying AGAIN!!

I have lost about 1lb per day more or less since Wednesday. I have been trying to fast but somehow it gets all fucked up. Like on Wednesday - my housemate came home from Thailand and he wanted to go have a pub lunch - so we went. And I had all the resolve in the world to stick to a glass of white wine and a portion of chilli popper - which is bad enough - but then I got even more greedy and ordered a portion of chips/fries which were fucken disgusting old oil and bitter, but by god I smothered them in ketchup and ate the whole thing. And what's even worse about that is that the portion was the size of a dinner plate. HUGE! So that fucked my Wednesday. Tuesday was much the same - fine until ten pm or so then I made pasta and sauce which I smothered (and I do mean smothered) in cheese and basil pesto. It was so disgusting, but again - I ate most of it. Then topped it off with about 500ml of coke (real coke) and a chocolate chip yoghurt. *cry* Yesterday - fuck. Also absolutely abismal. I had a thigh of chicken *cry* a bunch of grapes, about 4 ryevita with cheese, sweet chilli sauce and mayo, and then topped it off with another portion of fries with sauce. My brother ordered takeaway and didn't want his chips and before I even knew what was happening I had eaten them all. I am disgusting. Somehow, despite all this disgusting eating I am still at 59.3. I am convinced my scale is broken. There is no way I can eat so much without gaining. My stomach looks huge!! Today will be better and tomorrow, I want to be in the 58's. Yes! Fucking fat piggy. :( Still no internet. Still blogging from my blackberry. Peace & French Fries Xo Xo


loveylou said...

I'm sorry things are slipping for you, you probably aren't gaining weight yet if your metabolism has slowed down, so the food hasn't been processed yet. Try doing a bunch of exercises to help boost your met. and process the food. Plus it'll give you an endorphin boost to help boost your mood and keep you on track.
When in doubt: run it off.
Imagine you are running away from all the food you consumed. The farther you run, the farther away from your body it is.
Stay strong love, I know you can do it! It just takes that first day of getting back in control!
Love always,

AnaKat6661 said...

Sorry to hear you've had such a challenging week honey. We've all been there I'm sure.
When I have times like that I just get up the next day and try to refocus and see if I can amend my eating plan in any way to make things easier. We all get tempted by what I call 'easy food' where it isn't exactly junk food but it's easy, simplistic and possible ready prepared, and at some point we all give in and allow ourselves to indulge.
Look at it as you indulged and managed not to gain, and today is a fresh start. Otherwise you'll end up driving yourself crazy with the guilt.

Always reading,

AK xoxo

William said...

Ms. Piggy! c:

I've just caught up on you're entire blog since the beginning of November! No offense, but it was quite an emotional roller coaster. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you while it was all happening. I'm not even going to try to comment on everything I'd like to but rest assured, you'll hear from me frequently from now on. :) I hope to hear from you asafuckingp. So much love <3