Thursday, September 13, 2012

WWCD?

So I weigh 62. That's the awful truth. My thighs are enormous. I can't stop eating. I just want want want. What is up with everyone at the moment? We are all eating. I've been too ashamed to even write anything on this blog anymore, because I'm so disgusted with myself at how fat I am. I have however decided that my new UGW is going to be 50kg. Skinny, yes... Today, I've had way too many calories, but good calories since there hasn't been too much in the way of carbs and sugar. I've had two pears, three cups of coffee with milk and honey, roast chicken, lettuce, avo, tomato and rocket salad with a tiny bit of mayonaise. So I'm learning again. Oh yes, and an orange. I'm learning again how to eat less. Fuck, how stupid is it after ages of restricting and getting thinner, it can all get thrown away just like that. Without warning, one day you'll just start eating. And i can see the fat. I can see it. I hope to be under 60 by the end of next week. 4lbs in a week and a bit. I can totally do this. I figured I'd just stay as raw as possible and low fat, low carb. My body is so fat. Before, I was not scared to wear things that hugged my stomach. I feel like I've backslid into that Piggy that hated everything. That just didn't like what she saw, and even though I didn't hate when I was *cry* 10lbs less. Well. 6 weeks of pretty much nonstop binging. I guess 10lbs isn't the end of the world. But fuck it's disgusting. This is it. COME ON BITCHES, WHAT WOULD COCO DO?

FTW & Love
Xo Xo

6 comments:

Too Fat for Words said...

4lbs in a week and a bit is totally do able the weigh in before last I lost 3 pound something so just over a week you can make it!

I know the feeling I can't stop eating its ridiculous.

Skylar Rainn said...

Super Binge for me, averaged well over 2000 calories and I'm still going. I'm just about ready to eat my puppy as well! 4lbs in a week is easily do able. Good luck xxx

stillimagining said...

trust me at ur height even at 62kg ur still on the slim side! weight is totally not permanent so dnt beat urself abt the past and just move on! u'll b where u want to be in no time:) if u did it b4 u can definitely do it again !

Miranda said...

I can totally related. It's like you have not control over your intake one day and you can't stop. You have to get back into that restriction mode but it's so hard to get back there. You already know what you are capable of so you can do it!

Palesa Dlamini said...

YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE ANGEL YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN I BELIEVE IN YOU,,,YOU GO GIRL

Skinnyy Lovee said...

oh god, I understand. I've slipped up too - big time. 6 weeks of bingeing, well 5, because i stopped for a week before caving again :(
I get that, with working so hard then eating one day and feeling like a fuck up cause you've.. fucked up. :L It sucks!
but I am going to get back on track, and I know you can too!