Saturday, December 8, 2012

It's Okay

Ladies, d'awww. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are all so concerned about me, perhaps my last post was a bit... vague. What I was actually referring to is this overwhelming feeling that I got yesterday morning that something awful was going to happen. The only other times I got that feeling were when I tried to kill myself. That feeling that you are one lazy footprint away from throwing yourself in front of a bus... or downing a bottle of pills. And as a matter of fact, I was quite close to this yesterday. Thank god for two things though. The first is obviously everyone on this blog. Not only did I get a bunch of comments on the post, but I also got a bunch of emails. Asking if I was okay, etc. And also, thank god for my sister. Her and I don't speak that often because we are both getting on with our own lives, which are obviously very different, but yesterday for some reason, she was very bored at work and we chatted the whole day. I sort of took the combination of these two things as a sign from the universe that I needed to man the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for myself. So thank you. Thank you to everyone. Sometimes you feel yourself falling towards the bottom of a very dark and lonely pit. In times like that it is nice to know that there are a few people at the bottom of that hole willing to let you bounce off of them. So thanks. Everyone. It means the world to me. And now I'm going to get drunk. So be expecting loads of self-deprecating posting later :). Cuz that's how we roll. I promise, I won't hurt myself again. :)

Love & MORE LOVE
Xo Xo

5 comments:

Katie Elizabeth said...

You had me and everyone else so worried. I'm glad that you are feeling much better and you found motives to keep yourself away from that dark place. Stay strong and have some fun =)
XOXO

Judith Marie said...

JESUS CHRIST! You had us all so scared! You don't exactly have the best track record of not trying to kill yourself and I seriously thought you meant you were going to have another good go at it.
Anyway, so relieved to hear that you are okay. Can't tell you how many times I checked your blog to see if you'd post again!

-Judith Marie

Little Miss Thin ♥ said...

You have no idea how glad I was to see your blog show up in my feed as updated today! Enjoy yourself and I look forward to the drunken posts. Much love xxx

Courtney Walters said...

Oh my gosh, I'm so glad and relieved to see this post, you had scared out of my MIND!!
Enjoy your time out girlie, have some fun

xoxo
Courtney

Zoie said...

THANK GOD. ahh so happy you're okay.
hang in there love.