Laxy Daxy

I have been a pig today - I wanted to have a chat to a colleague of mine today about him leaving the company and that turned into lunch with two other people and I am broke as fuck. Like the kind of broke where I had a veggie burger instead of a salad because the salad was more expensive. The struggle is real. Anyway, so I had the burger with absolutely nothing else - it was a patty, a bun and some salad - no mayo or anything like that. I estimate it to be about 400.. I haven't seen a patty that is more than 200 cals. Anyway, so there was that and then some chocolate in the office, another 200 maybe more and then fried rice for dinner... about 300. So not a great day. I know I'm kinda safe at below 1000, but it's still too much. Everytime I see a skinny person around - I'm like - Piggy, you fat bitch - that's the goal get it right. Anyway, so I've taken a couple of laxies, just to get things moving - I don't want to be a ton heavier tomorrow, just because my digestive system has stopped working. Hopefully it will be fine. 

I'm a bit anxious at the moment - my work is going through a huge transition at the moment with a new MD who is changing everything and taking no prisoners. Makes me look at the company and wonder if it's the kind of place that I want to work - where they treat us like children. Children. :( That and the combination of my landlords visit to my flat next week - he doesn't know I have cats and even though it's been a year and half (more) that I've lived here - I don't want to get evicted. So I have to hide them. I sent an email to the estate agents asking for the garden to be sorted out and a new bed - since mine is shit and I'd rather buy myself a new one than sleep on this godforsaken pit of doom every night. I'm wondering if he's doing the inspection now so he can look for an excuse to end my tenancy cuz he doesn't want to spend the money. :( I hope not. I'm so stressed about it though. David and I are going to basically hide the cats. Hopefully therefore, we should be fine. I hope so. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm fat. 

My mate from work is also dieting at the moment, she is juicing. Her and I are the same weight, but she is way fitter than myself and about four inches shorter, so now I'm like - you can't get down to 9st (57kg), I'M GETTING THERE FIRST. But then I go and eat like a fucking pig at work. Go me. Go fucking me. 

Fat & Frustration

Xo Xo