I ended up having a few whiskeys last night after I blogged... and then Roy phoned me for two hours. *sigh*
I still sometimes wish he'd want me back... We spoke about David and how things are with him - he seems to think that I'm broken and defensive, because I like to have my own space and don't want to be around David all the time. I kinda see it as being independent and liking my own space... HOWEVER, if that is true - MOTHER FUCKER why do you THINK I'm broken? Doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you completely fucked me up, does it!? Anyway, so I have been a bit tender today. I did lose just over 1lb this morning, I was on 65.0kg flat. Which is good. I mean. Good :)
Today, I'm disappointed and pleased with myself at the same time. I am hungover, so fucking hungover... actually no, I'm a little bit hungover and very tired, and also really demotivated. AND it's Friday and for me - weekends are for binging. Because at home a lot more, I just eat from the time I finish work till Sunday evening. It's a really bad habit that I am trying desperately to break. AND I'm hungover and tired. You know what happens when you're fucked - you EAT and you're like 'fuck my motivation, fuck this, fuck that, FUCK EVERYTHING!' Anyway, so it hasn't been going the best - I've had a bunch of tea, some doritos, two sugar free energy drinks and cereal (400), then I had dumplings when I got home with hoison sauce and two cracker breads, so 650. So total for today is 1050. Not great, but considering that I was really fucked today. It is okay. I'll be fine and hopefully I won't gain tomorrow. As long as I stay the same tomorrow, I'll be happy as a clam.
Only two days till payday - THANK. God.
Peace & Love