A KETTLEBELL! That's right folks, I have purchased a piece of exercise equipment. I really want a flat tummy and since I am clearly FUCKING SHIT at starving myself, I'm gonna have to substitute my lack of discipline and disgusting fat habits with some exercise. I'm going to post a before and after pic - 1 month. I want to try for three times a week of working out for 1 month. I've found some videos on youtube that look simple enough. I AM DOING THIS! And keeping my intake down below 1000 for the whole of September. I'm so tired of this cycle of binging and starving, like. I'm just so sick of it. I just want to consistently eat 1000 cals a day. Is that so hard? Apparently it is. Anyway, I've got to try something different, because I'm just failing. I lose two pounds, I gain them back. Fuck, I'm so tired of binging and starving. I've been doing this for 10 years now. I wish I could stop. I'm not thin enough to be ano, I don't purge so I'm not mia, but this cycle is just disgusting. I just want to stop binging. I hate binging. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
My flights for Johannesburg are booked for October, I really wish I could go to Vegas instead like I was meant to... Man, things are heating up. I'm going to need to buckle down and hibernate for September and October to get my shit done. I can DO THIS!
Wish me luck?
Peace & Strength