Thursday, March 8, 2012

Fuck It.

Okay, so today I have slipped a little. I can still save it, but it means that I cannot eat ANYTHING else today. I'm sure I can do it. Just have to make it till tomorrow morning. I think I can have tea for now, but nothing fucking else. OMG. Green tea will help. I got to my moms house and there was all this pasta and like, I did NOT have a lot at all. But I'm sure after my breakfast mango and apple that it will push my total to about 700/800, because it had a lot of cream in it. I didn't eat much of the actual pasta, more of the mushrooms and things, but you know restaurant food, so much fat *cry*. And as I said as long as I stay below 1000 for now I am happy, but no lentil soup. None of that as planned. I need to save today from becoming a binger. Yes I can. :)

God, this is so fucking intimidating. OKAY. I can do this. NO BINGING! Will update later :)

Fuck I can't believe I have just fucked it up now. And then ran upstairs to go take some of my moms sleeping pills so that I can knock myself out at like 6pm and then I won't have to worry about failing, but I won't need to. I didn't take any, because I know I can do this. Getting through today. I am making green tea now. Three cups of that and NO food. Fuck, so close to a binge. I can't let this get the better of me. :) I know I am safe until 530pm. Thereafter, who knows. Gossip Girl marathon tonight. It is EXCELLENT thinspo.

Hate & Carbs
Xo Xo

5 comments:

Emma said...

I did that a few days ago. Messed up early and ended up failing the rest of the day. Keep strong! You can do it :)
-Emma

Dainty said...

You can do it, I have no doubt. Don't beat yourself up too much about today; we all slip up. Stay strong!

All my support,
Dainty

loveylou said...

i looove working out with GG in the background, great motivation and distraction, then a nice bubble bath and collapsing into bed.. it's divine, absolute heaven! :)
best of luck avoiding the big bad binge!
love always,
xoxo

Run said...

Don't beat yourself up. I am sure you can avoid any binge. :)

I can't get into Gossip Girl. The girls do have amazing bodies though. xx

Shrinkwrapped said...

Hey babe, just read through all of your archives today. You're amazing, and god, I wish I could as thin as you are now.

Stay strong.
<3