I have been such a badly behaved piggy in the last week, just eating like a crazed lunatic. I am even too scared to weigh myself. I need to get back into shape for London, which will be happening next week. There was some trouble with my visa, where they had to verify some details, but it should be arriving tomorrow so crisis averted really.
I am so enormous. My stomach looks like I am pregnant. Like fuck. my. life. Anyway, I know I can get this under control. Everyone at my mothers wedding was commenting on how thin they think I am. I was like *mother fuckers* if only you all knew how fat I really am. Fuck fat people. Seriously, they think I need to eat more, but they don't understand that I need to not eat at all. EVER! Why don't people understand this shit? Like - you don't HAVE to eat. As we always say, eat to live, don't live to eat. So, 500 cals a day is more than sufficient.
I apologise for my absence, but I promise to be better now. Well fuck it, I have only been gone for a week so it's okay. But now I need to get rid of all my stuff. My ex and I have been seeing each other again. All I can hope is that he totally falls apart when I leave. Fuck him. Seriously, I want him to hurt, like I hurt when we broke up. I know it's mean, but he fucking deserves it after all the pain.
Um, to answer a question from Annie, I don't "have" acne, but I do go through phases where I have nasty bouts of spots on my face. Usually it is fine, but lately - also depending on how much meat I eat - strange I know - it has been bad. But it is under control, and obviously when I get my period, then I am fat and spotty. It's gross.
Love & London